


She needs a wild heart, I got a wild heart

by cloneclubdrinkstrolley (direwolfofhighgarden)



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Rachel Duncan Donuts, Teenage Clones, but they're not actually clones, terrible nicknames and shady humour, they still have just as many problems though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-11
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-17 01:11:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2291471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/direwolfofhighgarden/pseuds/cloneclubdrinkstrolley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sarah Manning has been an employee forever at Dunkin Donuts (at least, through her entire high school life and was thereafter promoted to a supervisor), so when good-for-nothing, queen of coldness, no-older-than-the-rest-of-her-friends, iceberg eyes Rachel Duncan just pops out of nowhere and suddenly crashes into their world as the new manager of said franchise, Sarah has to wonder what malevolent force in the universe thought it would be a grand joke to watch her have to interact with such a sadistic, evil, <i>gorgeous</i> boss so closely every time she puts the atrocious uniform on for work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Lion, the Witch, and the Manager's Office

**Author's Note:**

> So, I am pretty much going class-A hypocrite and am writing a fic without having any sort of ending or plot in mind. I'm just going to go with it.
> 
> As much as I cry the most for unfinished fics and always die until I get all the chapters and I know what's happening, I am going to do what hurts me the most with my own writing.
> 
> I just wanted an outlet for all my Cophine/ Propunk/ all the clones feelings.
> 
> This will be predominantly Rachel and Sarah because that is the most hilarious ship, I find (and you can do so much more with it), and the rest will fall into place. I'm not sure who else will come and go and who will be featured and how. Because I don't know anything at this point in time about where the blinkin' piss this story is going, I tagged it accordingly, because fictional lesbians rule and let's sail ALL THE SHIPS. GAYPIRATE SHIPS.
> 
> The clone club is a very ambiguous group of friends... (I think for this one, I'll opt out of them being actual clones, for simplicity. Yes, blasphemous, I know! But I'm not good at all with science shenanigans) They're all seniors in high school (because senior year/ first year uni is always a fun time for shit disturbing) Helena and Sarah are still sisters, Felix is still Sarah's foster brother, Alison and Cosima (maybe Beth too!) are all really close friends to the siblings and everyone has a lot of uber crazy fun times. And there will be Tony. Rest assured, Tony will make uber fun appearances too, I just don't know how or when.
> 
> I'll tag more characters and relationships as they appear, so there's that.
> 
> Yay!
> 
> SIDENOTE: I DIDN'T REALIZE DOUGHNUTS AND DONUTS WAS AN ACTUAL THING. WHAT THE HELL DO CANADIANS CALL IT? I'M EXPERIENCING AN IDENTITY CRISIS

_Sarah Manning is a strong, independent woman. Sarah Manning does not need nobody telling her what she can and can't do. Sarah Manning is a fighter, not really a lover (but she can be if she really thinks it's necessary and it benefits her) and Sarah Manning is, more than anything, not going to take your shit. Sarah Manning is... wait, who the fuck invited the snow queen Elsa into the store?_

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“It's fuckin bollocks, is wha'.”

“Don't be a twat, she can't be that bad.”

“Yeah dude, I mean, none of us have even met her yet except you. And you didn't even meet her like, officially. I mean, who's to say you just caught her at a weird moment, or whatever?”

“I bloody well know what I saw, I'm not dull. If what I saw is what you call a weird moment, I don't wanna see what she'd look actually pissed.”

“Sestra.”

“It's true, I'm afraid. There are other capable employees here with exceptional qualities of time management and organization and excellent customer service. And Sarah has been working here longer than any of us. _Though I can't really deny that it's beyond me how that is so._ It is rather strange that management didn't promote internally and instead decided to hire someone new entirely. _Though I cringe at the thought of Sarah actually micromanaging everything, let alone being in charge of a restaurant._ But that's all to digress.”

“I didn't want the blinkin' promotion. I don't want any bloody promotion. I'd like to know how Madam Stick-So-Far-Up-My-Own-Arse-I-Could-Actually-Open-My-Mouth-And-You'd-See-A-Rod over there managed to waltz in and get the managing job when she's just the same age as us.”

“Sestra.”

“Dude...”

“Oh bloody hell...”

“Goodness...” 

“What the hell are you lot gaping at?”

_“Sestra.”_

“Bloody hell Helena, what?”

Suddenly, Sarah felt a foreboding sense of doom. She felt a presence looming behind her, lurking closer and towering over her when in fact the owner of the darkness that enveloped the entire group into silence was no taller than Sarah, or the rest of the girls in fact, and was even shorter than Felix. Sarah slowly turned her head and saw the figure in the corner of her eye. She immediately snapped around to view the face, not relenting in giving up any of her own territory and she suddenly became awfully aware of their inappropriate, near-violating proximity.

“I do hope none of you sincerely believe that slouching about and chatting amongst yourselves will be acceptable when I officially start working. Your superiors before may have been oblivious to such antics, but by no means will that mean I shall continue to let this behaviour continue.” The girl continued her speech, seeming so much taller and larger than anyone in the group could even begin to attempt or fathom.

“I find it entirely appropriate, and in fact obligatory to punish any sort of distasteful, subordinate behaviour under my employment through strict disciplinary action. Whatever additional course of action that will follow thereafter will be entirely up to you.”

Without a word, the robot queen walked slowly towards her new office. Prim and proper and positively predatory Rachel Duncan with not a loose hair out of line in its stupidly pretentious blonde bob and her name tag unnaturally, impossibly vertical and not a wrinkle on her clothing daring to be made apparent left the group in profound silence, and it was Felix who brought them back.

“What, on, earth... What in all that is good and divine's existence was that we just saw!”

“Shite...” Sarah finally let out several fragmented breaths, not realizing she had been holding her breath the entire time and that she was bracing her apron, and she looked at the entire group.

“That was like, super intense. Wow!”

“She most certainly gets her point across doesn't she.”

“Why the hell didn't ya warn me?”

“Sarah was too busy being lion, grrrrrrr, ROAAARRR, and did not see the witch lady come behind her.” For good measure, Helena flailed her arms above her as she spoke, reenacting a monster that apparently should have resembled a lion.

Sarah scoffed, still trying to recompose herself as she stared at the now closed door of the manager's office.

“Whatever, meathead.”

“Sestra lion is angry! ARRGGHHH! Do not call me this.”


	2. Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just what the hell _exactly_ does this Rachel Duncan think she can get away with? And why is Sarah partaking in gym class? Didn't she complete that credit years ago? And why in all blazing hell is she doing these gym exercises in the boss' office, of all places?

“We've never even seen her before.”

“D'you reckon she even goes to school here?”

“I most certainly don't think so. What's a lady like her going to do in a school full of peasants?”

“A lady, eh? I think not.” Sarah scoffed at the very idea and continued, “What the hell is she doing in a place like this? What the hell would she do in school? What the hell is she doing in a _Dunkin Donuts_?”

Sarah and Felix, in spite of the boss' speech only about fifteen minutes ago, are still gossiping in hushed whispers, scandalously turning to the door every few moments so as not to have a repeat of the very recent encounter with the lioness.

Alison had been clearing off some tables and just doing regular cleaning. It seemed as though she was doing more cleaning than usual, even for Alison, and everyone knew it was to get on the boss' good side.

“You two are going to get yourselves _killed_. Grab a mop and do something!” Alison shot vehemently, fear and anxiety were mixed in her equally low whisper. Helena, who was wandering around with her face awfully close to many surfaces, bumped into Alison who squeaked in surprise before smiling and handing her an extra cloth.

“Here, Helena. I know how well you can clean, take this so you won't get in trouble.”

Helena, whatever she had in mind, held the rag away from her face at arm's length and held it by the tips of her fingers, only bringing it close to herself to sniff it quickly before retracting away from it again.

“What poison, is this? Chloroform, no?” She sniffed again, to Alison's absolute horror. “It will do, I suppose.”

“No, no, no. No! Oh Helena, no, it's just sanitizer, it's used for cleaning. See, just wipe it on the tables. I'll give you the spray bottle. Please don't smell it.”

“Just because her face is up against everything all the time doesn't mean she's good at cleaning.”

“Well she's most certainly better at it than any of you are doing right now. You're the supervisor, you should be shocked by our lack of work ethic!”

Sarah couldn't believe herself why she was the supervisor instead of Alison, but she figured it had a lot to do with Art, the old manager, helping Sarah keep in line with the added responsibility more than actually rewarding her with a promotion. He was a good guy, and it showed when he worked with the kids. He had weird ways of doing things, but he always had the best intentions. Sarah was sad that he left, but he was off doing better things, she was sure.

“Dearest Ali, I will. Anything for you.” Felix quickly grabbed a mop and straddled it like a horse, caressing it tenderly where the dirty mop head nearly hit his face, but he was not bothered. “Dear me, you're quite the stallion, aren't you?” Felix was jumping around with the mop between his legs now, prancing around behind the counter and making his way toward the sitting area. “Oh, stop! STOP! Oh neigh indeed!”

Alison, now just steps away from Felix and the mop-horse, stared at him incredulously with her mouth slightly open as she stood with nothing to reply.

“The stallion can't stop! Oh! He's getting frisky! Sweet Ali, you told me to grab a mop and do something, and now my horse is just too wild!” Felix gave her a wink, continuing his act and making noises and other remarks to fuel his antics.

Alison marched toward the back of the counter huffing, only when she was completely out of everyone's sight would she let any sort of amusement mark her face. “Where is Cosima, anyway? Don't tell me the boss scared her off?”

“Cos? No way. Boss lady couldn't do that to her. She's probably smoking up in the back fantasizing about that razor-bob hairdo.”

“I'm here! I'm here, and I'm not fantasizing about anything, Sarah.” Cosima emerged from the back of the store and approached the group. “If anything, it's you probably dreaming about the boss.” She was grinning, bearing all her teeth and her tongue poking out of her fangs.

“Bollocks, you're just high again.”

“The chloroform does not work. Sestra dreads, what smoke do you use?”

“Oh, no! No, you don't! Don't even think about it, meathead.”

Cosima flashed her goofy grin again, appraising Helena and seeing only an opportunity to annoy Sarah. “Well, Helena, if you really want, I can show you some time. It does great things to you.”

“Great things?”

“Yeah, dude. It makes you see things, and you feel really good. Like, really happy. Then after you get super hungry.”

Helena perked up, seeming to be triggered by the mention of food, and Cosima only smiled even wider. “Oh, come on! Sarah, how funny would it be to see Helena completely baked? Helena, we seriously have to smoke one time.”

Sarah contemplated the idea, but still could not decide if the mess of food she can just imagine now would be more of a nightmare, or what other crazy thoughts would come from her sister who already had them in abundance in her sobriety. She shivered at the thought, but couldn't help but be amused by the very notion.

Felix came up to Cosima and hit her face with the mop head, the action was shameless and purposeful as much as nobody except Felix could do with a straight face.

“My apologies, Cos! My horse seems to have whacked you in the face in affection. I've reason to believe he adores your dreads.”

“Oh my god, dude, did you seriously just say that?” She spoke with a strange indifference, seeming to completely disregard the fact that she was slapped in the face with a dirty mop if it weren't for her hand wiping at her face subconsciously, and she just stared at Felix with a questioning eyebrow rising above her glasses. “That's got to be the weirdest, but funniest innuendo I've ever heard.”

Alison finally couldn't take enough and she stormed off to the cleaning closet to get another mop to replace what was now Felix's pet horse.

Sarah had been chuckling to herself at the affair, leaning over the counter as she stared out the window and watched people pass by. At this time of the day, not many people wandered into the store, and given that it was a weekday, only workers and the occasional family came in only to buy what they wanted and to quickly leave again. She had no problem watching her fellow co-workers fool around as they did, and that wasn't because she mostly worked with her friends all the time. There were other people from the high school who worked sometimes too, but even when Art was still the manager, he didn't care that they just hung around as long as they maintained the basics like keeping everything clean and organized and the obvious upholding of customer service. Nobody had a problem with that, so Dunkin Donuts remained to be the best place to work in terms of hours, wage, and a really fair boss. This time however, it was going to be different, and Sarah knew it.

“Manning.” A sharp voice interrupted her thoughts, and it cut through the air like it had the power to pause time. Felix stood frozen with the mop still between his legs, staring like he was a deer in headlights, Cosima had faced the voice and kept her hand up to her pony-tailed hair before sheepishly putting it to her side where it laid awkwardly and without anything to do, and Helena, so enraptured by her rag, didn't seem to notice the sudden change in atmosphere until she addressed no one in particular.

“Ah. The witch lady speaks!” She still didn't look away from her rag as she zoomed in on the material, only coming up to face the new boss and to raise the cloth between their faces.

“See, yellow? The rag, it has poisons. You touch my sestra, this will be down your throat and through your nose.”

Rachel, to her credit, didn't cringe away or scrunch her nose in disgust or fear like some people did when they first meet Helena. She actually looked awfully mellow for someone who'd just been called a witch; she was especially calm for _Rachel, the ice queen_ who had just been called a witch, by her employee. She didn't even look at her with the passing air of condescending superiority she'd used on anybody else in the store, and instead just blinked at her. She stood silent only for a brief moment before she blinked again into reality with what seemed to be just the subtlest predatory curiosity on her face and even the ghost of a bad joke that only Rachel would have found funny in her cold humour, if she had any- which it seemed, Helena was the focus of just momentarily.

Before Sarah could question just what the boss was smiling so weirdly about when she had the encounter with Helena, Rachel spoke up again.

“My office, now.”

Everyone stood positively still, besting even stone statues if they didn't have to breathe, but even then, they didn't dare. It was only Helena who didn't care for the tension, and she was tilting her head side to side, examining the “yellow” hairs of Rachel, and she knew better not to touch them. At least for now, because Helena always did what she wanted anyway. Somehow, though, the repercussions would be much different for Helena than if anyone else decided to touch her, and Rachel didn't even move away from Helena's probing closeness.

Alison returned from what seemed to be the length of forever with a new mop in hand as it nearly slipped out of her hand when she saw Rachel. She quickly grabbed it, returning again to the barren stillness that overcame all of her co-workers.

The picture would have been ridiculous to anyone else, Cosima staring sheepishly at the floor like she'd just done something scandalous and was caught in the act by her grandmother, Felix still had the stupid mop between his legs, not thinking to hold it properly, Alison straightening her back that could have rivalled even the most seasoned soldier, and Helena quite literally breathing down the boss' neck. It was only then when Sarah realized how she was addressed. Nobody ever called her by her last name, not her teachers, or her foster mother, and not even Art. Nobody was angry enough with Sarah to call her only by her last name, so she restrained herself from needing to gulp nervously before she uttered, rather, blurted out one word.

“Yeah?”

She'd forgotten that Rachel had already made her request, and knew immediately that the singular word would have been taken as defiance rather than being known to have spurred from sheer dumbfounded shock.

“It wasn't a question, Manning.” Rachel turned around, leaving Helena right in the middle of her probing and everyone as they were. They eyed Sarah purposefully as if the power in all of their stares would compel her to move.

She moved eventually and followed the girl to her office.

Rachel, who was somehow already in her seat, had her back turned to Sarah who took in the feel of the office. She'd come in here quite often to speak with Art alone. He'd let her venture in without knocking and they would spend hours talking about life, and school, and making jokes and Art would give her advice. The room felt really different now. Where Art had made it feel like a home and welcomed her even at the most convenient of times, he still let her sit and he listened, and that was sometimes enough in itself to help Sarah feel reconciled. Now, it felt foreign. It felt cold and detached, and it felt like all the secrets she'd confided into the walls would yell back at her, would be made known to Rachel as soon as Sarah walked out, and that terrified her.

Rachel spun around slowly, only half facing Sarah as she spoke toward a corner rather than look directly at Sarah.

“Seeing as though you are not doing anything productive, perhaps you can work better in here.” As if she knew what Sarah had been thinking all along, she addressed this as well. “This room is quite familiar to you, is it not?”

Sarah still had no idea what Rachel was asking her to do, and she just stood behind the chair rather than sit as an equal in front of her boss.

“Perhaps you'd thought you would be sitting where I am, indulging from in here rather than out there.”

Sarah stared questioningly, realizing that Rachel probably presumed Sarah wanted to be the manager, that Sarah envied her position. It couldn't have been farther from the truth, and Sarah just laughed freely, basking in the fact that Rachel didn't know her at all. The thought comforted her, strangely, and Sarah didn't know why she revelled in it so much.

Rachel only continued, unrelenting and undisturbed. “Since you do not have the luxury, like some, to sit whenever you please, you will work diligently where I can monitor you.” Sarah still didn't know what the boss lady was going on about, and she was actually growing rather impatient with the monologue. She almost expressed such before Rachel stood up and interrupted Sarah's thoughts, probably for the best of either of their situations.

“500 push ups, then.”

“Wha'?”

“1000.”

“Uh?”

“1100.”

Sarah still didn't process what Rachel had just said and she stood in front of the girl, closer than she'd realized before, and the closeness unnerved Sarah more so than it did much earlier in the shift. Rachel stared into Sarah's eyes, the hazel-brown eyes boring into Sarah's very being.

“You don't sweat nearly as much as you ought to when you work. Perhaps your old manager never cared for his business. Perhaps that's why he left it to me.”

Hot anger was starting to rise from Sarah's core. She knew well enough that Art had left on his own, and it had nothing to do with this Rachel Duncan that stood before her. Art had cared for his business, and even then he cared about his employees more. He cared about everyone and to just leave them for a _creature_ like Rachel was beyond Sarah's understanding of Art. If this was one of his weird ways of caring for people, she most certainly did not understand it, and she didn't think she would ever want to even if she could.

“You can't make me do bloody anything, you crazy bitch.”

“Oh? Can't I?”

Sarah scoffed incredulously, not knowing the importance in having to workout in front of her boss. She markedly made her way to the door when Rachel spoke again, still indifferent and lethargic.

“You will turn around, get on your knees, and you will do 1100 push ups, or I will move it to 1500.”

“This is ridiculous.”

“1500. Or I will terminate your employment.”

“You wouldn't.”

“Is that a challenge?”

Knowing fully well that Rachel would not back out of her word, Sarah gave in to the childish request. She'd do her push ups, doubting highly that she'd actually get to 100 let alone 1000, so she resigned herself to doing the push ups until Rachel would grow bored or annoyed at her presence.

She knelt down, actively turning away from Rachel's feet, and began the workout. Sarah had done fairly okay in P.E. Though she hated the class with an absolute passion, she passed it, with some pulling of teeth as it were, and got the credit she needed for her diploma. She was already fit in her own way, having worked around the house with Mrs. S, her foster mother, or helping Art with unloading the food truck, or with more manual labour with her friend Cal and helping on his family's farm. These pushups were nothing for Sarah, but after 15 minutes and somewhere nearing the hundred mark, or even perhaps past it, Sarah's raspy voice broke the silence.

“Are you even counting?”

“You are to stop when I say.”

“You said 1000.”

“Yes, and I also said that you will stop when I deem you are done.”

 _Psycho bitch._ Sarah huffed as much under her breath as she continued to slave away, only starting to pant and sweat more profusely five minutes later. She supposed Rachel heard her offhand comment, because the girl was sitting in her chair eyeing Sarah intensely, more than she'd ever seen the girl do the entire day, and Sarah almost fell onto her face.

“Bloody, hell, fire.” Sarah spoke between reps. What exactly was she doing? The thought should have been ridiculous, and Sarah even saw it for what it was, but here she was on the floor of the boss' office, sweating for all the wrong reasons.

“It's bloody well enough.” Sarah to her credit still impressively spoke through the workout.

“I've worked almost half an hour's wage. On your floor. And I'm at, 200.”

Rachel cocked her head to the side, grinning maliciously at Sarah. “At least you're counting.”

“Yeah, when you ought to.”

“Would you rather I manage your reps or your wages?”

“Oh, my, god.” Sarah huffed in utter frustration, the rage letting her move fiercely and faster only briefly before she felt the fatigue in her arms and chest again. She felt she was going to faint, or to fall on her face as she almost did. Now, she'd favour the relief more than what small dent falling on her face would have done to her pride, seeing as though any trace left of it had disappeared when she agreed to the incredible request of her boss. As if Rachel detected it, she spoke up before Sarah fell onto her stomach.

“That's enough, you've done your worth. 200, as you say, is not exceptional in the slightest. We will resume again tomorrow.”

_Fantastic._

Sarah felt it would have been so much better to crawl to the door, but that's probably exactly what Rachel wanted, and she'd let her have no more than what she'd given her today. Instead, she hoisted herself up one last time and stood on her heels, only getting up because her legs provided relief that lacked severely in her arms.

She said nothing to Rachel and didn't have the energy to shoot her a look of angry torment that she felt would have been necessary as she closed the door behind her, defeated and glistening with sweat.

Felix accosted her upon her arrival into the outside world, accompanied by Cosima, Alison and Helena.

“Oh my god! What the devil happened to you?”

“You were in there forever dude, what did she do?”

“Wow, Sarah, I've never seen you so dishevelled in my life. And that's saying quite a lot.”

She had no spirit left in her to joke with them about what just happened. She didn't even have enough drive to retell in simple words what had happened to her. All she could do was sigh and become profoundly aware of muscles in her arms, chest, and back that she never realized were present.

“Push ups,” was all she said.

“What?”

“I did push ups.”

“What ever in the hell would you do that for?”

“She said.”

“So you mean, you did that the entire time?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, that's not kinky at all!” Felix threw his hands up exasperated, sighing as if he'd just lost a bet.

“Haha, yeah, for the amount that you're sweating, you could have very well been doing the nasty in there. But instead, you were retaking gym class.” Cosima giggled to herself, and Alison gave her a chastising look before the expression softened on Sarah.

“Have some water, you're probably very tired. Sit down.” Alison held her arm and led her to a table while she demanded Felix or Helena to get water for Sarah.

Cosima sat in front of Sarah, who had her face against the cold table and felt the pleasure of just remaining there.

“I'd ask you what she's like, but I'd guess not that adventurous if she makes you do all the hard work of punishing yourself instead of doing it herself.”

Alison reprimanded Cosima now as she smacked her shoulder, Cosima not caring enough that Sarah was beyond exhausted and completely out of her element. She could have dozed off right on that table, and she'd have the heart in her to at least smile and acknowledge Cosima's banter, but she didn't have anything left in her at all and it rendered her inert and essentially wiped out. Rachel took everything Sarah had and kept it in her office, and Sarah had no fight in her to hate the woman today. That probably should have been enough indicator to Sarah for just how much she'd underestimated her new boss, but she had nothing to say for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You thought this was going to be kinky, didn't you?
> 
> Mmmm. Sweaty, panting Sarah. I bet Rachel's imagining herself underneath as Sarah's just _dunkin'_ into her pushups.
> 
> I'm a terrible human being.


	3. A French Revolution, and a Civil War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hark! Who is the (new?) French girl? The first interaction of Cophine!
> 
> Lo! Teenage antics and dialogue!
> 
>  _JesusMaryJosephGordonLevitt_ , don't TELL me the (actually) new girl is who I think it is... *facepalm, headdesk* *somewhere in the distance an exasperated Sarah Manning has had enough of your shit oh cruel, dark world!*

Sarah had dragged her feet upstairs that night, still accosted by Felix and in the morning by Mrs S. as well. She dropped face-first into her bed and dug her self into her pillows and blankets, not caring that her work uniform was still on.

She woke up much the same except equipped with a tattered, sweaty, smelly uniform and her apron untied as it hung precariously on her neck. She trudged her way into the bathroom and encountered even darker circles under her eyes than what her make up usually provided, and Felix marched in with nothing but briefs on and a towel on his head.

“Oh, hello! The raccoon rises.”

“Piss off.”

Sarah closed to door behind her and tossed her uniform into the laundry basket. When she stepped into the shower, enveloped by the hot steam fogging up the glass, she felt the pain of the night before coming down on her. It was as if Rachel goddamn Duncan herself had opted to sat on Sarah while she was doing the push ups, and putting her face up to the water made her neck ache with the pain of one thousand needles, or perhaps the weight of one thousands burning suns.

When she got downstairs, Felix sat cross-legged at the table and was more appropriately dressed for Mrs S. still with the stupid towel still on his head. He looked up at her with a notorious smile on his face, and their foster mother followed his gaze.

“I heard you had a great day at work.” The Irishwoman's words were seething with natural sarcasm, and the only thing that could conceal it, if it could even be considered a sincere attempt at all, was the lilt in her voice as she spoke with permanent mischief.

“A-fuckin'-brilliant it was.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“Ehm, well, no? I've nothing to say for that lunatic bitch other than she's found a way to kill me without actually layin' hands on me. I feel like shite.”

“Sarah's rather fond of it, actually. Believe she got off on it a tad. She was beamin' heaps when she walked out of there. Almost made us think she'd actually got some from the abominable snow-monster.”

“Oi, sod off! You know damn right tha's not what happened at all, you silly bloke.”

“I've yet to have my second cup of coffee and your bickering's already got me head aching. Get to school, you two.”

Sarah rushed out of the kitchen with her rather empty school bag and leather jacket. Felix tossed his towel onto the table and escaped after her before Mrs S. could badger him about leaving his wet towels all over the place, and all he had was his cardigan and a scarf.

“What'd you think it'd be like anyway?”

“What the hell now are you on about?”

“D'you think she's ever gotten some?”

“Eh?”

“What kinda man would sleep with Rachel?”

“One with a troubled childhood that projects into his adulthood. Prob'ly someone by the likes of Fifty Shades of Grey.”

“So you think she's kinky?”

“I said nothing like that?”

“You really think Christian Grey would sleep with Rachel?”

“I think anyone out of their wits would want to talk to her, let alone sleep with her.”

“I suppose it really has been only one day. Maybe today she'll throw various household objects at you while you do jumping jacks. I think I'd have at her, if she wasn't such a mean bitch, or if I wasn't gay.”

“Yeah, maybe you should take your Fifty Shades of Gay and wander outta here. Are you not tired of discussin' the world's evilest boss?”

“I think she likes the power thing.”

“No shit eh?”

“No, really, now listen. She's the manager, she can do whatever bloody pleases her. She's got the hots for you, it's rather evident. She likes you sweatin' all over her floor. I bet she started rolling around in your musk after you'd walked outta there lookin' like Chewbacca sat on your face.”

“For Christ's sake, Fee!”

“It's just the truth.”

“There's an image I could have lived without.”

“Which? Chewbacca on your face or bosslady dry humping your sweat puddle?”

“I'd take Chewbacca and his hairy pits long before I live to see Rachel Cold-Arse doing anythin' remotely human.”

“Dry humping a sweat puddle is human to you?”

“More than what you've been suggestin' of me and the walkin' presence of misery.”

“It'll grow on you.”

“I'd rather sooner die than have to talk to her.”

They somehow made their way to the school and found their way into their first period classroom. They shared science class with Cosima, because of course they would, and usually sat in silence while their friend took one, or rather _all_ the questions for the team. The conversation had taken an unofficial pause when they sat down and let the teacher talk about the group project before he allowed to work on the textbook questions.

“Best friend! What'd you think of Sarah and the bosslady?”

Cosima smiled at the very rarely used term. “What's there to think about?”

“Felix thinks the cold bitch of the west has the hots for me.”

“Doesn't she?”

In that moment, Sarah had never glared so intensely at Cosima in her life. All she could do in response was laugh magnificently as Felix crossed his arms smugly and Sarah sank further into her seat.

“It's super obvious, Sarah.”

“Ehm, no it's not.”

“But like, why do you think she always bugs you?”

“Because I'm the step between you lot and her. Get rid of me and she's levels higher than you tits.”

Felix and Cosima looked at each other knowingly.

“She's power hungry.”

“She's hungry for power.”

“She's hungry for a power bottom.”

Cosima laughed again, and stopped instantly when the blonde girl sitting in front of them turned around to look directly at her.

“Excuse me, may I borrow a pen?”

Holy shit, she was French. How didn't Cosima know that before? She's not even new. Wait, was she new? Had she never heard her talk before? Why had she never really looked at her face until now? Who was this girl and where did she come from? How long was she sitting in front of Cosima before she even realized she had never spoken to her before?

“Oi, ganjaqueen, Les Mis is askin' you a question.”

The girl seemed oblivious to the nickname and continued looking at Cosima, who was blinking blankly at the girl.

“I am sorry, there is no more ink in my pen. I do not have an extra of my own. May I borrow one from you? I will return it after class.”

“Oh! No! Here. I got it.”

Cosima scrambled around for a pen, seeming to not know where any of hers were before her entire collection dropped onto the floor. “Oh my god, no, here, sorry. Just a moment.”

She got up swiftly to pick up the pens, neglecting to realize the girl had gotten out of her chair too and their foreheads smacked together.

“Oh!”

“Holy watershed, I'm so sorry! Here, here's a pen,” Cosima stuck out a variety of multi-coloured pens and shoved them into the girl's face. “Here, there's a black one if you like. Professional, and all. Excellent for note-taking, and school stuff.”

“Oh, merci! I am sorry I hit you, I did not see you. Merci, uh...?”

“Ah, dude, no need to apologize! It was all me, I didn't- yeah. You can keep that if you want, I have a bunch more.” Cosima breathed deeply before realizing the pair of eyes was still on her. “What? OH! Yeah, Cosima. No problem.”

“Merci, Co-si-ma.” She smiled again before turning around to resume working diligently.

Cosima stood up and sat down, seeming to have her eyes anywhere else except on the blonde girl and the eyes of her friends, knowing that relentless humour was seething from their silence. When she chanced a look at them, the light in both of their eyes said it all, and Sarah seemed content with not being the butt of their jokes anymore.  


“Oh my god, Dreads has a thing for Frenchie.”

“Sister dear, are you a peasant? I do believe it's more of a blonde thing really. It makes sense for Cos.”

“Hey Cos, you craving French fries for lunch?”

“Shut up Sarah, you're not off the hook yet.”

“Fucked if I'm not.”

“Okay, okay! More pressing matters here, are the two of you going to work together on the project or what?”

“Well, Hermione Granger, I do know you like working by yourself. I'll pair up with my beloved sister Sarah dearest. Maybe it'll give you time with Napoleon Buns-apart.”

If Cosima had ever been horrified beyond repair in her life, Felix's comment would have pushed her into that oblivion. She shot a look at the French girl, whose back was turned away from them and did not seem to flinch at recognition of the comment.

Cosima spoke in a harsh whisper, rather unnecessarily given that the class was now filled with a moderate volume of other various conversations and no one would have heard them in the back of the classroom anyway. “Holy watershed! Felix! Don't call her that.”

“Mm, mmm, well I don't think I'll need to be calling her anything with this new exciting development.” Felix practically purred, and Sarah looked up from her book to tune back in to what the two had been talking about. She nearly flipped her desk when she saw who was at the front of the classroom.

About fifty minutes late, Rachel Razor-bob Duncan handed the teacher a sheet of paper, with her books held firmly to her chest, and the teacher gave her another sheet in return. Sarah tried to listen to the indistinct conversation just as she knew Felix and Cosima were doing.

“I was given instruction by the office to let Sarah give you a tour. You'll be working with her on the project too. I just assigned it today so there isn't much that you've missed. I'll let you two figure out what to do.”

Rachel only smiled in thanks and made her way to the side of the classroom where two empty desks placed beside each other were left for her convenience.

“Change of plans! I'm working with the geek monkey!” As if to seal the agreement, Felix slid his arm into Cosima's who neither complained nor turned away and only smiled amusingly at Sarah and the boss.

“Oh man, what were the chances!”

“Oh no you don't. You bleedin' muppets aren't going to do this!”

“Soooooo, Cos! Any plans for the future of our project together?”

“Only good things!”

“BLOODY SHITE.”

When some of the people around her turned around to see what the commotion was about, the teacher looked up unperturbed at the three friends of the back of the classroom.

“Anything wrong, Ms. Manning?”

“No! All's peachy Mr. Davis!” Sarah saluted the teacher as he went back to his work, before she sunk even further on the seat, almost eliciting the notion that she intended to fall to the ground. She groaned audibly and shut her eyes forcefully as if she could will the possibility of what was happening to her out of existence, but her denial was very short-lived.

“I can give you the answers to the work...?” Cosima was trying to console her friend now, knowing her emotional and mental state had been completely obliterated at the mere sight of the new arrival.

“Can you give me the answers as to why my life is such a comical farce to the gods?”

“My condolences, Sarah, truly. Oh but Mrs S is going to love this! D'you remember you'd rather soon die than to talk to the bosslady? Absolutely rich, that one!”


	4. London Bridge, London Eye, and Big Paul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel Duncan's madness! Exposition! What does Sarah _really_ think about her new boss? Is it possible to make another first impression? What exactly happened between Rachel and Sarah to make them so sexually frustrated with each other (something apparent to anyone else but themselves? Or maybe just Sarah, because I think Rachel knows something, because Rachel always does). OMG, Big Dick Paul!

_Rachel Duncan isn't someone who will approach you if she doesn't need to; she only will if she wants to do something horrific to you. And Rachel Duncan **most definitely** wants something, and she **most definitely** will get it from Sarah Manning._

“Hello.”

Rachel spoke mildly, her posh accent subdued with uncharacteristic timidity, though it certainly wasn't lacking confidence. Sarah would come to realize that out of anything else that she would ever do, this is the most dangerous thing to hear coming from Rachel Duncan, and the innocence- whether she intended to even portray that persona with this voice or not, was something Sarah knew would elicit the notion of vulnerability and naivety in anybody else's opinion of Rachel, but certainly not in her own.

“My name is Rachel Duncan. I'm going to be your lab partner.”

Nobody between Sarah, Felix, or Cosima spoke a word.

“You must be Sarah Manning.”

“Uh...” All that could come from Sarah was her guttural sounds of hesitation and utter confusion.

“Yeah, that's her.” Felix spoke up for Sarah, who was either too stubborn or dumbfounded to really know how to speak to the girl.

“I would like to have a tour of the school.”

Cosima tilted her head to the side like a confused puppy, still not saying a word and Felix resigned himself to stop talking.

“Now would be wonderful. I'm not particularly busy.”

“Class is almost over.”

“Of course, I have a free period after this class.”

“Well, I don't. So how about we go some other time, yeah?”

“You don't seem occupied at all. History isn't your best subject, I know you won't miss it if you give me a tour.”

“How the hell-”

At that moment, the bell rang and interrupted Sarah. Felix and Cosima rushed to collect their belongings and stood up before they both looked down at Sarah. By then, Rachel had already been walking out of the clasroom.

“What game is she playing at?”

“What a trip! I'm gonna go to English class though, tell me what happens.”

“Sarah, please don't do or say something stupid.” There was sincerity in Felix's voice and Sarah knew he was genuinely concerned for her.

“Ugh, fuck it. Whatever. See you later.”

Rachel was standing in the hallway to the side of the threshold. Cosima shot her a quick, toothless smile before heading in the other direction. Felix walked out of the classroom with Sarah and spoke to them over his shoulder.

“Be safe, ladies!”

Sarah sighed much longer than necessary and dramatically flipped her hair while she turned to Rachel. 

“Okay, d'you know where the caf is?”

“No, show me.”

_No, I'm going to show you where another school's caf is. Bloody hell. What'd you think I was going to do?_

Sarah headed toward the cafeteria and didn't turn around to make sure Rachel was following her. She knew she was still there by the thickness of the air surrounding them. _Doom, it was probably doom in the atmosphere._

“Alright, right here. Across from the gymnasium and next to the maths class. Shouldn't be too difficult.”

“Now, the parking lot.”

“It's right out there. You can see across the window, yeah?”

“The parking lot, take me there.”

Sarah rolled her eyes and signed dramatically again, walking the length of the caf between the various cliques of people who were enraptured in their own worlds. When she stood outside of the exit door of the cafeteria that led into the parking lot, she was left behind when Rachel continued moving to her car.

“Manning.”

“What, you're going to give me a tour of your car?”

Rachel was several paces ahead of her, apparently requesting Sarah to follow her. Sarah didn't know why she'd even give her the tour at all. Of course Rachel would have known her way around by now. Even still, why was Sarah's feet moving her toward the car? She didn't know if she was right about the assumption, but she was not brisked away when she stood in front of the car. She thought better about her placement and moved to the side for safe measure.

“Get in.”

“What the bollocks do you think you're going to get out of me?”

“Now.”

“Uh, no. I don't think so. It's not even lunch yet and I'm tappin' out already? You can go on your own.”

“I will not ask one more time.”

“I'm not going bloody anywhere with you unless you tell me where in the exact hell you are going to take this car.”

“We are not going anywhere. I will subdue you if you do not cooperate.”

“What're you gonna do, princess? Call another one of your bodyguards?”

Rachel's jaw tightened and she kept her stare fixed on Sarah, who inherently knew she'd struck a nerve. She smiled to herself but didn't let it show on her face and she went along with the bait. “Where's your muscle anyway? Big Dick Paul not anywhere to smooth out your panties?”

Rachel sat down in the seat and shut her door wordlessly, all while never losing sight of Sarah's face. She continued staring, and something was now there that Sarah knew was a far, very far from idle threat. She sighed, perhaps the hundredth time in the past few hours of the morning, and got into the front passenger seat of the car.

“You will not discuss the affairs that transpired on, and after Friday evening.”

“You don't need to blinkin' tell me twice. You already made your point pretty damn clear when your Big Dick Paul bruised me up.”

“Would you rather he actually hit you? I could certainly make another arrangement.”

“Well aren't you the great mother Teresa! Thanks for that, but I'm peachy.”

“What do they know?”

“What?”

“What do the subordinates know?”

“Uh, first off, my friends, yeah? Got it? Secondly, we're not any bloody different from you, we're on the same damned level, so you can cut it with that superior shite you're riding on. Thirdly, they don't bloody know nothing.”

“What do they know?” She simply repeated herself as if she never heard Sarah, but Sarah knew very well that she never repeated herself out of ignorance. This was also something that was a dangerous thing in Rachel Duncan.

“They fuckin' know I saw you that day, they know I saw you before any of them did. They don't know how or what bloody happened exactly, I didn't tell them piss all. And whatever I did say to keep them off my bloody hind, for you, mind you, I lied about it. Alright? Ya happy?”

“Never quite. There could always be better.”

“Of course not!”

“I am worlds above you, Manning. Do not assume otherwise.”

“Yep, yep, okay. Now can I get out or do you want to interrogate me further, or even torture me to ensure my allegiance?”

“Your collaboration on the project will do.”

“D'you need me to reintroduce myself? I'm shocked you remember we're partners. Isn't that below you to remember?”

“You will come to my vicinity of choice. I will text you the details in due time. Now leave my car.”

“Now, just how the blazing shite do you know my number? How the firey hell do you know what my classes are? I reckon you even know where I live. D'you meet Mrs. S. yet? Would you like to? Would you like a cup of tea? May I massage your feet for you, Ms. Duncan?”

Rachel was immensely unperturbed; no emotion betrayed her face and Sarah merely sighed again after her tirade.

“It is rather simple if you would merely think for once. Your contact information is in my office, and Paul informed me of your class schedule. I do know where you live, because of the paperwork in said office, and I have, in fact, met your foster mother. We only corresponded via telephone, and I would like a cup of tea and a massage, but right now, I need you to walk to your class.”

"What the hell do you need to be speaking with Mrs. S for?

"Walk, Sarah."

Sarah got out of the car and shut the door harder than was necessary. She would have to ask Mrs. S later if Rachel was actually being honest. She walked back to the school thinking about the night in question. She was walking home after work through downtown when she saw somebody arguing with Big Dick Paul. Paul was just one year older than they were, but he had stayed behind after graduating to get more credits, though everyone knew the credits had little if nothing at all to do with why he stayed back. Anybody who stayed for another year didn't know what they were going to go after high school, or perhaps they didn't want to think about the next step. It was actually not a bad idea at all if anyone wanted to collect more credits, but Big Dick Paul stayed behind for all the wrong reasons.

There was a girl arguing with the bouncer of a club, whom Sarah did eventually find out was Paul, but from afar, could only tell that the argument was rather personal. When she walked closer to the scene, she had a better look of the girl. She had shortly cropped, perhaps dyed blonde hair- it was incredibly straight all across and was almost unnaturally perfect even when she was moving sporadically. Her little black dress was fitted to the curves of her body, falling just below her mid-thigh with the cut at the front showing enough modesty that seemed to have filled the dress very graciously.

She was hitting him with relentless fury, her miniscule frame proving rather trivial to his vast, muscular physique as he swatted the smacks away, sometimes holding onto her arms unforcefully before she started hitting him again.

“You will not betray me!”

“I'm not, babe, I haven't. I have to think about my future, and we have to start moving forward with that in mind. Please.”

“Is another one of your whores anywhere in your future? I will not be camped together with such scum! I demand answers!”

Sarah was finally in closer earshot of the pair and she was only several meters away from the pair.

“Baby, please, you've been drinking again. Let's talk tomorrow when you feel better.”

“I will not feel better about being just another one of _them!_ What do you even fucking take me for, Paul?”

Sarah very much doubted that the girl was drunk; she hadn't been stumbling around or slurring her words, and her punches were very much on point for someone who was said to be intoxicated. The girl had an accent, rather similar to Sarah's but appeared much more posh and pretentious. Sarah couldn't help but wonder where the girl may have been from. Even in her furious remarks and blunt choice of words, Sarah thought the accent almost made the petite girl seem strangely cute, in her own weird way. When she closed the distance between herself and the pair, she could most certainly smell the alcohol in the air and realized Big Dick Paul couldn't have been doubted for once.

The couple paid her no attention as she walked by, but it was the girl who looked carelessly around her when she took another glance at Sarah. Even in the darkness, Sarah could see the hazelnut eyes of the girl that were coloured with rage. Her skin, even with minimal lighting, could be seen to be subtly tanned that only brought out the lightness of her hair even more. If she hadn't been so angry, loud, or genuinely scary, Sarah would have found the girl very much attractive, and perhaps she'd even let Cosima know.

Not wanting to get involved in whatever the hell Paul had gotten himself into this time, she moved quicker than her regular pace. She still felt the girl's dark intense eyes following her, and there were several indiscernible words shared between the two.

“You will do as I say, or so help me God I will show everyone.”

“Please, babe, you wouldn't do that, would you?”

“Test me, Paul.”

“Please, this is stupid.”

“Very well.”

Before she knew it, Sarah had heard rushing steps toward her, and knew they were coming for her. She immediately picked up her pace into a light jog when she heard Paul's voice coming closer and closer to her.

“Hey, miss! Please! Wait up! Miss!”

She was ready to break into a sprint when Paul broke into his own speed and charged himself in front of her, blocking any path of escape for Sarah.

“Oh, hey.” He'd recognized Sarah from school and blinked blankly before remembering who he was with. He immediately erased any hint of recognition from his face, but it certainly didn't prove enough for the girl.

“Who the hell is that? Another one of them?”

“No, babe, it's just-”

“Hold onto her then.”

“Really, Rach, there's no need to do this, whatever this is, I don't know-”

“Then hold onto her if there is nothing, Paul.”

Her iciness bore deep even into Paul, who merely grunted in defeat and placed his hand on Sarah's arm reluctantly. Sarah didn't move away or push him off, but the weight of the hand certainly bugged her, especially since she didn't want to be involved in their argument, and she made this sentiment evident.

“Tighter, Paul.”

“Rach-”

“I will not repeat myself.”

Paul sighed again as he gripped with only slightly more pressure on Sarah's arm, who was more confused than in pain.

“Use your other hand, Paul.”

“Seriously, I can't just-”

“NOW.”

He snapped his hand onto Sarah's other arm, and the sudden weight of the movement almost made her knees buckle under her.

“The neck, Paul. There's nothing in the arms.”

“Rachel! I'm not going to do that. You can't just make me-”

“I will make you do anything. You remember what I have, don't you?”

As if it was enough to push him, Paul moved his hand to Sarah's neck, and now she was struggling to break from his hold. It was as if he'd knew all along what the girl named Rachel wanted him to do, and in one lithe motion he twirled Sarah to face her and brought her closer to him, his hand gripping her neck more tightly as his other hand held her arm much more forcefully. Sarah had began to feel the struggle for air, but realized she could only fight with limited determination if she wanted to save her energy.

“Hello, Sarah.”

“How did-”

“Your name tag, don't be dull.”

Sarah remembered then that she was still in her uniform, having left her change of clothes in her locker at school and was set to go home with her work clothes. Rachel approached her, walking perfectly in heels despite her utter intoxication and Sarah could still smell the heavy odour of alcohol on her clothes and her breath which only became more intense as she put her face directly in front of Sarah's.

“You will not relay what you heard, what you saw, and what you know about today to anyone you know. You will not tell your cat, you will not tell your dog. Your mother, your father, your siblings, your cousins, your family of any degree, by law or marriage, will not know of this night. Your friends will not know what happened, and your co-workers will not know what happened.”

“I, ugh- I don't-”

“Is that clear?”

“Why is it so, ugh- so-”

“No one, Sarah. There will be no one who knows, or I will personally cut off your tongue.”

When Sarah didn't speak up, it only triggered Rachel further.

“Paul!”

At the command, he tightened his grip onto Sarah, lifted her up just a little so that her feet were barely kissing the ground, and his hold on her arm tightened as well, as if having one hand would have incapacitated her entirely.

“I cannot make myself clear enough, Sarah. I have connections, and I will make your life a hell on earth. If you pipe up just once, I will know. Do not make me regret letting you go.”

As if knowing that Rachel had finally got what she wanted, Paul let go of Sarah as she stumbled onto the ground, seeming to instinctively know also that it was the right moment to let her go without having killed her. She choked on the ground as dry coughs scrambled to fill breath into her lungs. She'd felt several small bruises begin to form on her arm, and she didn't feel quite yet the traces of Paul's fingers on her neck, which meant perhaps she wouldn't need to hide those marks.

“We're going to make formidable business partners, Sarah.”

Sarah was still grasping her chest, struggling to get up as Rachel stood with a respectable amount of space between them.

“I'll see you on Sunday for your shift.”

It was then that Sarah began to understand the great implications she had before her, and then realized why the mysterious girl with the connection to Big Dick grade 12+ Paul went to so much trouble to threaten Sarah for her silence on something she wouldn't have mentioned to anyone else otherwise. People fight all the time, drunk people fight even more, and Sarah would have dismissed the memory as another fleeting thought if she hadn't just been severely man-handled.

But Rachel Duncan has to make herself known. Rachel has to make her own terms, and Sarah learned this much about her future boss: she deeply despised having even a morsel of uncertainty out of her control, and everything had to be under her power. It wouldn't have been much of a big deal to see her boss losing her mind with her boyfriend (or whatever), but if arguing over an unstable love life was what kept Rachel going, then hell, that's her poison. Sarah didn't give a shit about what people did on their own time, but now that she'd been threatened almost at the price of her life by someone she'd eventually learn was her boss, she damn well had to start giving a shit.

Of course, the next day, she was still enraged, and she filled Felix in on the night's happenings, of course avoiding the actual details or lying outright about certain aspects when she reminded herself of the actual implications of telling anyone at all.

She didn't have any loyalty for the girl, and especially had no sympathy for her, so she didn't know why she was honouring their agreement. Perhaps she wasn't necessarily defending her, but she didn't want to have another scuffle with Big Dick Paul and her maniacal boss, so she kept her mouth shut after informing her foster brother of what transpired.

“Sarah, you could call the cops. Or even just the principal.”

“No, no. Absolutely not. I'm alright! I just wanted to tell you.”

“Well, if I ever see you with bruises, and especially bruises in the wrong places, I swear to Tilda Swinton I'll actually kill a man.”

And of course, the rest of her friends were told too. They all knew that a new manager was coming in, but they didn't know who it was. Of course, Sarah knew who it was, and she found out in the most ungraceful, unideal manner. Eventually, Sarah tailored a lie to tell her friends another half-truth, because why did she have to hide such valuable information to her friends, especially when they were her friends and she was acting in favour of a stranger? She told them she met the new manager, she told them that it wasn't actually an official introduction because Sarah accidentally bumped into her in front of the store and the girl caused a magnificent scene, she told them that she tried walking in because she'd left her work shirt in the store and her spare was dirty, and that the girl told he that the store was locked. She told them that she asked how the girl knew, and that the girl merely dangled a set of keys in her face before brisking off and leaving Sarah without much explanation, leaving to piece the facts together herself.

Of course, none of that happened at all, and there was much more that was exchanged between Sarah and Rachel, but nobody knew that much. All they knew was that Sarah thought she was mean, and they all thought perhaps they should give her a chance because Sarah can sometimes be rather biased with her preconceptions of some people.

But what they didn't know was that Sarah still couldn't be farther from any version of truth. Rachel Duncan was much more than what Sarah let on, and all her friends had was a shared experience that started together, whereas Sarah was already a day ahead of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ello folks! Just trying to power through chapters. The ideas are really starting to roll in, which is absolutely great because _damn_ I haven't felt this excited or creatively liberated, like ever. This is probably the most fun I've ever had while writing a story. Perhaps that's what comes with not having a complete story right away, and actually having it up in the air to think about like the rest of you, I don't know. It's a really nice change.
> 
> I'm having so much fun, like damn, so maybe it'll actually motivate me to write more, because I usually quit pretty early into an idea. I haven't ever felt this motivated, it's so exciting.
> 
> Now, if only I had more time! *sigh*


	5. On Mondays, We Use Illicit Substances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A framework for more relationships, platonic or not! Back stories and some context! Introduction to more character history!
> 
> A relatively fun and light chapter originally written as part of one full chapter, but then separated into its own because I don't want to have too much going on in each section.

“Oi! Muppet! Are you alive?”

“What the bollocks does it look like, you tit.”

“Are you maybe severely maimed?”

“No, I'm fine, Cos. If she cut me in some main artery, I probably wouldn't be standing here.”

“Geez, dude, why did she act like she didn't know you in class? Or any of us? That was like, hella weird.”

“Damned if I know what goes on inside a sociopath's head.”

“If anything, I'd think you were the best person to know.”

“Piss off, that's for my Ukranian half. Where the hell is she anyway?”

“Having lunch, no need to be concerned.”

“Actually, she's having lunches.”

Sarah smiled to herself, amused and slightly relieved that her sister was doing what she could mostly always be counted on to be doing. For Sarah, there were many things about Helena that put her off at first, especially since she'd been introduced to her twin sister whom she wasn't aware existed until she stumbled upon her door bruised and bleeding from who knows what. She hadn't tell Mrs. S about what exactly happened and instead opted to suggest that Helena was a profoundly civil character and she'd found Sarah on some social media site or other and informed her of their relationship, and that she'd even ask Sarah if she would want to meet with her since she was visiting Canada anyway. Of course, when Mrs. S did eventually meet Helena, her strange otherwise off-putting habits were quite the enchantment on Mrs. S and she'd even offered Helena to stay with them if she had nowhere else to go.

For someone who was only visiting Canada, she apparently had quite a number of established connections and didn't take them up on their offer to stay with them as direly as they'd thought she would need it, staying most nights at a dude named Jesse's house and other nights just wandering around aimlessly. Sarah herself liked touring the night, but even she had her limits and was nothing like the city-crawler Helena apparently was when the sun went down.

Still, everyone had welcomed Helena into their little group in a unique number of ways, as plentiful and unique as Helena herself. The reception was varied itself, Cosima grinning toothily whenever she was around, genuinely excited that she was there- as she was for anyone else, Felix had just continued bantering her as much as he would anyone else- not quite to the level he does for Sarah, and it seemed that Helena was mostly catching up on his humour. Alison, however, had surprised Sarah the most, acting as the mother figure to Helena- when she most certainly doesn't need it, or perhaps she does, when she would usually resign herself to leave her friends to their own devices. Helena seemed so far to have no problem with Alison babying her most times and was either oblivious to it, showed no reaction to it, or perhaps liked it secretly.

Helena was nowhere near them when Rachel approached them and she wasn't informed of what happened in their science class, and this is probably what relieved Sarah the most. Of course, she would eventually find out, as she always did, but even for Helena the amount of time that elapses between a moment and when you start deciding to act on it gradually reduces her need to react, and that's usually the last line of defence for anyone who was Helena's chosen target.

Helena would have probably had a riot out of seeing Sarah in Rachel's car- quite literally an actual riot. She'd been quite docile with Rachel on their introduction, but that still wasn't enough to reassure Sarah.

The group was making their way toward the cafeteria, seeing as it was now lunch and they'd sat at their usual table. Beth was already there, smirking at Helena's trays of lunch and how it very much resembled a buffet that was thrown on the ground and picked up to be left on each tray. When Cosima, Felix, and Sarah approached them, Helena didn't look up and Beth waved to them.

“Beeeeetthhh,” Cosima let the name roll off her tongue, “You wanna smoke after break?” As if the charm wasn't enough, she flashed her fabulous smile to seal the proposition.

“Nawh, you know that's not my poison, Cos.”

“Awwww, fine, suit yourself!”

“Doesn't mean I won't chill with you, damn. Don't hate because I'm health-conscious.”

“Oh, I'm fully aware of the negative repercussions as well, though there are actually rather few in truth. I could be health-conscious because of that. What I think you mean is that it makes you healthy-minded.”

“Same shit, different pile, Dreads. And besides, knowing the hazards of smoking and actively choosing to ignore them makes you more stupid.”

“Hey, it's not like I'm smoking cigarettes. It's medicinal! It actually has more benefits than people realize. It's for scientific observation.”

“Yeah, like how she was observing Frenchie today in science, you shoulda seen her! Ogling her all over and using her weird microscope eyes on the lady.”

“Sarah!”

“Oh, I'd wager nobody wouldn't have needed a stethoscope to know about the lady boner growing in Cosima's pants.”

“You guys are the absolute worst.”

“Can you imagine if they were actually related?”

“I don't know, dude. Maybe they'd actually hate each other, or something.”

“Not possible, I'm fabulous and Sarah is... Sarah is like the oil spill that stained my purity, and somehow I still love her in spite of it.”

“You lil' bitch! I came before you.”

“Yeah, and that's exactly what makes you sexually inept.”

This earned Felix a smack to the head so swift and lithe that he couldn't have stopped it even if he could react in fair time. Just then, Alison walked briskly toward their table with her books against her chest and the rest of her proper and prim.

“Good morning! It's good to see you guys, how is everyone?”

“We're fine mum, thanks! It's not morning by the way, it's technically noon.”

“Oh, whatever! What has everyone been up to? And Sarah you really ought to stop calling me mom, it's weird and slightly creepy.”

“Dreads met her future wife today in class.”

Before Cosima could interject, Alison piped up enthusiastically.

“Oh that's lovely! Cosima, I'm so happy for you, and very proud.”

The girl blushed only slightly and decided to stop correcting her friends and their misinformation.

“Annnnnddd,” Felix drawled out, “It turns out, bosslady does in fact go to school. This one, precisely. Apparently robots still need education, or whatever.”

“Oh dear, is that so? How did you find out? Are you sure we should be talking about her so liberally if she could still be anywhere?”

“Don't worry, she's not here.”

Sarah addressed the questioning look on Alison's face and decided that she would rather let her sister hear the conversation nonchalantly than to pull her aside and leave room for incredibly awkward moments.

“I know she's in her car or summat, she made me give her a tour, and stuff.”

“And stuff?”

“Yeah, it's whatever. Nothing important.”

Alison pursed her lips as if she was considering something and then decided something else. Helena grunted but still didn't look up from her food, and Sarah knew it was her sister confirming her awareness. She was sure she would have a conversation with Helena very soon regarding the new information.

“Well, alright then. Beth, are you going to the library on break today?”

“Oh shit, Ali! I forgot! I just told Cos I'd hang out with her today.”

“You can be with her if you'd like, I just thought I'd ask. You know where to find me!” Alison shot out perhaps too quickly and turned away just as abruptly.

“Ohhhhhh, dog house! Looks like you have to go get the girl.”

“Shut up, dipshits. I don't know what's up with her any more than you do.”

“Actually, I know quite a lot. Alison's domesticating, and she wants a child with Childs.”

“You're damn right!” Beth grinned mischievously, seeming to be the only person who accepts almost everything Felix says and refuses to make any sort of retort. “But you're making it sound like I'm complaining. I'll be back in a bit! Go where we usually do, Cosima.”

“Now there's a man we all need! A real gentleman to take the dog house with honour and dignity. Oh, sigh!” Felix lamented dreamily as he received an obscure hand gesture from the retreating Beth and blew her a kiss in return.

Cosima let him have his moment before redirecting the conversation. “So, Sarah, any other word on Rachel?”

Sarah had hoped they wouldn't remember the day's happenings, but decided she'd had enough of lying to them for Rachel.

“Yeah, actually. She's going to text me her 'vicinity of choice', and shite. Bollocks.” Sarah used her best posh accent, equal parts rather accurate and another quite extravagant.

“Why, if I'd make an educated guess, I'd wager she's taking you to an empty warehouse to finally harvest your limbs.”

“That's a step up from just fucking with me.”

“Fucking with you, or fucking you? Or fucking around with you? They're quite different, Sarah. You don't seem disappointed.”

“I've learned not to have expectations around her.”

“Well, that's no fun!”

“Yeah, well, you and I got different versions of fun, don't we, weirdo.” Just then, Sarah got a notification on her phone indicating a new text message. It was from an unknown number, but she knew even before opening the message who it was and what it would contain.

_1401 Broadview, knock, no bell. Pls dont be late_

_Couldn't be arsed to type properly?_

_6pm_

“Was that her?”

“Yeah, meeting up at Broadview. Is that not the strip of empty buildings?”

“Holy Tilda Swinton, was I right about the warehouse?”

“Damn, dude.”

“Well, if I don't reply after six, I'm dead. Tell Mrs. S I love her, and tell my brother he's a twat.”

“OH!” Felix grabbed his sister into a tight, purposely uncomfortable embrace. “I'm going to miss you!” He was practically shouting into her ear. “What ever am I going to put in your room?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I already have the next chapter written, but I'm going to be a tease and will post it on Friday or perhaps Saturday when I'll be busy with work and responsibilities and adulthood and general grossness. Yay!
> 
> But don't worry, the next chapter is kinda hot, and more familiar ways of screwed up and strange, so you'll be well rewarded (I hope) for the long wait. Hella yay!


	6. Rachel Duncan, Pencils: Round Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel and pencils! Again!
> 
> Except now pencils have a whole new other meaning... uh-oh...

Sarah hadn't really known this part of town so much, only relying on general opinion to really gauge her preconceptions. What she didn't realize was that there were a handful of building complexes in the area, and this one happened to be functional, not that it really mattered. When she looked at the call board in the lobby, there were about six residents who lived in the building, none on the same floor as any other resident and the rest of the empty slots indicated unoccupied living space.

She pushed the button next to the “Duncan” name, and the door immediately unlocked. Rachel had never told her what number her apartment was, and so opted to go to the floor and wander around from there.

The building itself proved rather deceiving; the outside looked tattered and moderately worn in the mostly abandoned neighbourhood and the lobby proved rather uncreative. The hallway of the elevator proved slightly more modern, the dark gloss of the walls darkening the place even more. The elevator itself proved the same, clean, silvery buttons that lit up brightly, the lift surrounded in mirror and only accented by steel handles.

It was 5:57 when she arrived at the floor, having gotten slightly lost in finding the building but also because she'd really liked to push Rachel's buttons today. When the elevator opened, she was shocked to find completely open space in the windows of the vast room and saw the night sky and the city around her.

She swore to herself and whistled, following the light emanating from the corner of the grand space which she assumed was wherever “Duncan” was supposed to be. When she got there, there was another room area which she assumed was another lobby, furnished with an oak desk and a computer monitor and lined with walls that were purely glass.

“'Ello! Here to see Ms. Rachel cold-bitch Duncan. Oh, I can just walk on in? Thank you very much. You're doin' a splendid job as a secretary. I'm going to have to take you out to lunch some time.” Sarah amused herself with her one-person conversation as she addressed the unoccupied desk, and almost reached to ring the bell at the door when she remembered Rachel's instructions.

When she knocked, the answer was immediately answered just as the building lobby had and the door opened without a person there. Sarah stood hesitantly at the threshold and was about to speak up when a voice interrupted her. Rachel appeared from behind the door and regarded Sarah with the same contemptuous look that was her ordinary expression.

“Are you going to make me stand here with you until you move?”

When Sarah walked in, the place was nearly all pristine, completely contrasting the dark lobby of the building in a direct opposite manner. The furniture was modern and seemed quite out of place for the kind of ambiance the rest of the building portrayed. Most of the furnishings were white or some variable and were accented by the black dining table, several dark pillows on the couch and a wide screen television. What Sarah didn't realize was that the corner space was all open area as far as she could see, just as outside of the floor's lobby was, and what would have been the kitchen, dining room and living room were merged into one. There was a bar near the kitchen area, and in the middle of the space there was a black fireplace and a grand piano.

“Holy shite, what the hell flat is this?”

“We will be working at the table.”

The place still stunned Sarah as she stood around gaping the incredibly open space. “You bloody live here? Where the hell's your room? Don't tell me you sleep on the couch?”

“Perhaps I'd overestimated you and decided you'd be mature enough to work at my residence.”

“Are you here alone?”

There was a moment when Rachel stared at Sarah, seeming to analyze everything on her face with contrastingly no emotion betrayed on her own face. The only hint of her snapping back to reality was when she turned sharply and headed toward the fireplace. Sarah hadn't realized that the girl was slightly taller today, and she'd noted that it was because of the heels she was wearing.

_Who the hell wears heels in their house?_

And Rachel was wearing an outfit similar to what she'd worn when Sarah first saw her, except today she wore a black pencil skirt and a fitting blue blouse.

_Damn, she looked good. She looks like a different type of good. She's too good for her age._

When Rachel emerged from what Sarah realized was behind the fireplace, she was carrying her books and one singular pencil.

Sarah finally acknowledged some thoughts.

_She's a woman, she's really grown. She's stuck between being a kid and what she wants to be, and being in school is ruining her element._

Sarah could almost picture Rachel sitting at a desk quite similar to the one outside of the flat, and she swatted away the thoughts instantly before they'd become something that could send shivers up her spine.

Rachel seemed to have been watching Sarah and her change in sentiment, and she eyed Sarah with suspicion and profoundly vague interest, as much as anyone like Rachel Duncan could handle.

Sarah was still recomposing herself as she recovered from her disorient. “So, uh, do you play?” she asked as she pointedly nodded to the piano in the room.

“No, I do not.”

“Then why is it here?”

“Because it can be.”

Sarah had taken a seat at the table and left her bag on the floor, instinctively knowing that someone like Rachel in a place like this would not take well to having anything but food on a table like this, and Sarah was surprised when her usual negligence of social etiquette escaped her today.

“So, uh, that work, yeah?”

“Sarah, why did you listen to me?”

“Em, wha'?”

“Why do you obey me?”

“Because you're my bloody boss?”

“Why do you do what I tell you?”

“I don't bloody know, shite. Because you threaten me? Because you're my manager?”

“Why didn't you tell your friends the truth?”

“Uh, is this a trick question?”

Rachel's mouth lifted at a corner into a menacing smile, the gesture never reaching her eyes. “I know you talk to them, and I know to what extent. Why didn't you tell them the truth?”

“Are you bloody mad? You _threatened_ me, with Paul. Or were you just too drunk to remember?”

Sarah eyed the bar and wondered if it had any contents. “Is there even anything in there?” She stared pointedly at the bar. “Do you ever drink at all?”

Rachel was glaring at her with steel eyes now, otherwise completely devoid of thought or emotion.

“You'll never know a thing about me, Sarah Manning.”

“Good, I don't want to bloody know you.” If Sarah wanted to hurt Rachel, that was it. And if Rachel was hurt by what Sarah said, she showed nothing of it.

“What are you going to do now, threaten me again? Make me walk away, dismiss me like you always do?”

Rachel was still standing over Sarah as she looked up at the girl, nearly yelling.

“Can we just bloody work together at least _half an hour_ without bickering? All we do is argue about shite all, and then what happens after that? Why can't you just stop being a coward and find out what happens after everything else?”

Rachel took a really long moment to regard Sarah, eyeing her up and down unabashed with predatory precision. Like this, Sarah felt a foreign notion of vulnerability under Rachel's intense probing, and she shifted discomforted in her seat. Rachel hardly so much as flinched after Sarah's tirade and eventually felt satisfied with Sarah's growing anxiety.

Slowly, she took a seat across from Sarah as if offering herself on equal ground, but Sarah knew the gesture was far from level.

“Do you really want to know, Sarah?”

She stared at Sarah with unwavering composure at a length of what could have been only several seconds. A minute passed and Sarah's eyebrows were furrowed in utter confusion. Another few seconds passed and Sarah was squirming restlessly as she glanced at Rachel who was still unmoved and unperturbed. Finally, Sarah disrupted the silence.

“Christ! I just wanted to do the work. Goddamn.”

“Then why isn't your textbook in your bag?”

“It bloody well-”

Sarah chanced a look at her bag and realized she indeed did not have it with her.

“Pissin' hell.” Sarah snatched up her phone and texted Felix.

_Is my textbook there?_

_Yeah, too excited for your date were you? x_

“Well, if we're not going to be doing anything, I'm leaving.”

“You can use my book.”

“I don't want to.”

“You just wanted to do work,” Rachel purred in venomous sarcasm, repeating Sarah's words to her. It shouldn't have given Sarah chills, but it did, and Sarah didn't have time to kick herself for it before Rachel stood up again, moving towards Sarah until she was almost touching her knees.

“I've forgotten an eraser, I'm going to need it.” She looked down at her with her head tilted slightly and let her gaze linger on Sarah for longer than was necessary, even for Rachel. Sarah realized that somewhere, somehow in being completely distracted, the buttons on Rachel's shirt were unbuttoned and the shirt seemed to relax only slightly as her chest protruded more.

By then, Rachel had started walking back to whatever was behind the fireplace, sauntering with the long, treacherous steps that it took to get her there. Even with her petite physique, her legs worked with her, taut muscles in her calves flexing with each step as her hips swayed freely as she walked.

_Bloody fuckin' shite, she's really good._

When she reemerged, she strolled back with the same leisure, not assessing whether or not Sarah was watching, because she knew Sarah would be. 

She found her place again in front of Sarah, extending her arm and her hand that held what could have been pencils all from a complete package. And without warning or reason, she dropped them all on Sarah, who would have otherwise found the whole ordeal absolutely hysterical if she wasn't so confused or oddly turned on. They fell to the ground and Sarah had absolutely no sense of what she should be doing or how she should be reacting, and so left them where they were as she glanced at them momentarily.

Rachel grinned now, and goddamn was it ever something. There was something in her eyes now that Sarah couldn't place, and where Rachel often smiled and it never touched her eyes, something affected her deeply now to a very evident degree. She moved to position each of her legs so that Sarah was between her and she grabbed Sarah's face roughly so that her ear was right next to her mouth.

Chills flooded Sarah's body as she felt Rachel Ice-Queen Duncan's not so icy breath on her neck as her voice swam with hot vehemence.

“This is what happens after.” She took a long, enticing pause and let herself feel Sarah's shivers under her.

“This is what happens when we don't bicker.”

She inhaled a slow breath and an even longer exhalation which Sarah knew could only come from a seasoned smoker. Sarah shook softly at the touch and saw at the corner of her eye a swift motion before she felt an impact shatter her jaw and felt it crash into her ear. Sarah gasped and swore colourfully as she braced her cheek, moving to push Rachel away and look at her when her arm was swatted away.

Rachel grabbed onto her face again with a hand resting on her neck just below her chin and the other with her hand in Sarah's unkempt hair and spoke directly into the messy tangles where Sarah's ear was.

“This is what happens when you don't walk away.” Her words came from a single breath rather than from her own voice and she gripped Sarah's neck with growing pressure.

Sarah, in her fevered cluster of scattered thoughts, didn't know what to do with her hands, having nothing to hold onto and decided to place them on Rachel's waist.

Rachel flinched internally at the touch and snarled. She let go of Sarah completely and worked at taking her leather jacket off, Rachel and Sarah moving furiously and clumsily at what would be the only time they will ever cooperate. Rachel let her teeth graze onto Sarah's neck as she slowly worked her way down, her fingers digging into Sarah's arms and going down the length of them with growing severity. Sarah inhaled sharply as she felt teeth contact her collarbone and Rachel's sharp nails dug fiercely into her hands.

“You will not touch me unless you are told,” Rachel hissed. She took a moment to breathe onto Sarah's lips and her eyes stared directly into hers. “You will not do anything without my permission. Understood?”

The blood was escaping from Sarah's head as she became lighter and lighter, feeling like she was floating into the air. She'd feared what would happen to her if Rachel planted her lips onto hers, but either to her luck or her demise, she wouldn't find out tonight as Rachel moved Sarah's hair onto one side, exposing her neck to a slight chill. She placed her lips on Sarah's neck just below her ear, the motion uncharacteristically tender, and let her tongue slip out as Sarah gasped.

Rachel didn't grin this time and instead moved slowly as she inched lower to where a vein in Sarah's neck had made itself prominent whenever she got angry, and parted her lips before sucking the skin and letting it melt into her teeth.

Helpless and restrained by agreement, Sarah reached to grab Rachel before she stopped herself and denied herself the relief of being anchored, not wanting whatever it was this Rachel on top of her was doing to stop. When she was done, Sarah could feel a hot bruise forming where Rachel's lips were and could feel all the blood rush to the spot as if it became the new location of her central system.

“You did not get this mark from me.”

And before Sarah could react, Rachel was off of her, a hand up to her neck as it fixed the never dishevelled hair, and then it moved to smooth her skirt.

Not knowing what to say, Sarah was left in a rare moment of speechlessness as she considered what to do next. Without really thinking, Sarah stood up and broke the silence with the first thought that had come to her mind before the night's events transpired.

“How do you pay for this place?”

Rachel's hand made contact with Sarah's face again, and Sarah was less shocked than the first time. She even cringed just a little bit and didn't feel the need to rub her cheek when she shifted her eyes to look at Rachel.

“You are not permitted to know anything.”

“Well, fuck me sideways then.” Unsure of how to depart from Rachel, as she'd never done so properly, she moved to grab her belongings and scooped them into the bag before moving toward the door. She paused with her hand on the doorknob and turned herself partially to see Rachel.

“So, what? I'm just going to wait for a text?”

Rachel smiled coldly, empty in her eyes and much more herself again. “You seem to be understanding the terms soundly.”

Sarah scoffed, shouldering her bag and absently rubbing at her injured cheek. “Bloody terms my arsehole,” and without another word, she closed the door behind her.

Rachel locked the door as soon as she knew Sarah's hand had let go and took a moment to breathe regularly before she spotted Sarah's jacket on the floor, tossed and neglected behind the chair where Sarah sat. She looked at it scornfully as she walked over it, not moving to pick it up or fix the chair and instead made her way to sit on the sofa.

She let herself lean back into the couch as she regarded her apartment disdainfully, narrowly avoiding the reaction in her gut that made her want to vomit. She continued looking around, wanting to remove the furniture, change the colours, and demolish the place altogether.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The anticipated chapter! At least for me anyway, I've been dying to get it out.
> 
> I didn't know what I was doing with the pencils... but I needed Rachel to walk away for a bit. I didn't realize how ironic it is to use pencils, but I guess it makes sense if they're high schoolers...
> 
> Anyway! Thank y'all so very much for the support, in every and any way you've done so. I sincerely appreciate that at least some of you are sticking with me on this weirdass ride, and it's really something to look forward to in my increasingly hectic life. It gives me motivation to write more, and that's really the best thing anybody can give me.
> 
> You all rule, and keep being awesome. More to come, most definitely. And I will truly work to fit some free time into my schedule for this!


	7. Interlude: A Weather Report

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mysticism, metaphysical ramblings, poetry! More exposition! Such artistic, so wow!

_There are multiple ways in which people believe the world will end, but there are two that will always be paired together. If the world went up in either ice or in flames, you could most certainly bet one would always have something to say for it, especially if the other was involved. Fire and ice are the most dramatic ways the world can be shot to hell. If Sarah Manning was fire, Rachel Duncan was ice._

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It had been a terrible mistake on her part to let Sarah Manning walk into her space like that. What the hell had she been really thinking anyway? She'd been threateningly inquisitive, and Rachel completely underestimated just how observant Sarah Manning was.

What the hell does Sarah Manning care where she'd slept, or where her room was? What the hell does it matter to Sarah Manning to make babbling sentimental small talk about what the hell a piano was doing in her flat, and then to even question her motives?

She could have killed Sarah Manning right there for her foolish audacity, for even thinking that anybody else except Rachel Duncan had lived here. Who the hell gave her that right?

Perhaps it would have been better to have done so, granted now she wants to destroy every single inch of the flat. The blood may have improved the place, but it certainly wouldn't have made her feel significantly better.

Why did Sarah Manning stutter like an idiot when she'd been asked simple questions? She had no trouble peering into anybody else's life, but stumbled and fell all over the place when it was her who was being probed.

This is where Rachel had her fun, this is where Rachel felt she really came alive. When she sees Sarah Manning, the cocky, lower-class, boisterous idiot of a woman sputter and struggle as she does, it moves something in her. Perhaps it's a feeling of contentedness. Fleeting all the same, but it comes whenever she gets Sarah Manning like this, and it's almost pleasant. It's as if she expects Rachel to have an ulterior motive for everything, and was she ever so mistaken. Not everything must be met with a motive if everything is fuelled with one fire.

Rachel had let herself go, and that much was certain. Was she to do it again? Perhaps not, if that fire hadn't become so injuring. She would never have given Sarah Manning the satisfaction of being her inflicter, of being the one Rachel tossed around, bit, scratched, destroyed. She shouldn't have made herself so known. She shouldn't have let Sarah step inside in the first place. She'd been fooled by the impression of safety, and now the walls around her tell her otherwise.

There are no mirrors in Rachel Duncan's flat, only windows. Where there is meant to be a mirror, there is a blank wall. Where there are meant to be pictures, there is a blank wall. Where there is black, white, and steel all around her, that is the closest to safety Rachel Duncan can feel. Darkness, blankness, and opaque obscurity.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sarah Manning's room was a shambolic clusterfuck. In the organized chaos, she seemed to be just at home. The walls were plastered with posters, her bed posts adorned with several clothing articles or the occasional towel. Her mirror sometimes had writing on it, but would be smudged off the next time Sarah would place a sticky note or other reminder on it.

Sarah had three mirrors; one in her room, one in her bathroom, and one in the bathroom that was shared with the rest of the house. Sarah used the one in her room the least often, seeming to find better use of it as a bulletin board rather than a vanity. The one in her bathroom had seen her more often, but she still used the shared bathroom the most. Even when Felix would know to always find her here, accosting her and probing her as he'd always did (and as he did especially on the night she got home from Rachel's place), she still didn't care for her own bathroom as much as this one.

There wasn't a musical instrument in the house, as Mrs. S opted for a surprisingly enough, fairly decent stereo system that worked well for house parties. Felix and Sarah had their iPod dock and Kira had her own little stereo system that was used mostly for CDs. Sarah couldn't imagine such an obstructive piece of... whatever it would be called, sitting around their house and not be considered furniture. What was the point of having it if it wasn't being used for anything? Even if it was being used, what is the point of having it if it would only get in the way for the most part?

It'd probably be delightful to have a bar right at home, but Rachel Duncan didn't seem like the type to host many guests at her house. Sarah had doubted she had alcohol behind the counter at all, and Rachel's eyes bore themselves into her own so deeply that they'd make themselves most known behind Sarah's eyelids.

Sarah could take anything. She can handle pain, she can handle the obscure, she can handle the strange and the unusual, the uncertain and the awful truth. Sarah could endure anything. What she couldn't handle, however, whether she admitted it to herself or not, was to live in total isolation.

Sarah thought she'd felt pain when Rachel hit her, but that was only her brain sending signals to the nerves and the nerves reacting as they should. When she really thought about it, she felt invigorated. She felt the adrenaline coursing through her veins like it did whenever she brushed up too closely to trouble, and that feeling was a drug.

Not only does Sarah thrive off fire, she is restless and needs to move. Sarah could not handle being just smoke. If she'd been hit by anyone else, she'd punish them severely. But with Rachel, it was rather strange. She was motionless, watching the oxygen storm around her as she stood in the middle, the fire paralyzed with confusion and inertia.

There's something in Sarah that doesn't know where to go when Rachel Duncan is around her, and that's probably a lot in due to more than just a conflict of interest. Sarah Manning burns things to the ground, Rachel Duncan stands before you and watches as you slowly lose yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look! I didn't know what I was going to do with this, but it felt super nice and all, so whatever, why not add it.
> 
> I wrote two entirely different sections, so y'all inadvertently get two chapters today. FUN FUN FUN FUN!


	8. Cosima and the Cosmos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Real poetry! Teenage fluff! Specifically, uber awesome Cophine fluff! COPHINE GOODNESS. FLUFF ALL AROUND. YES!
> 
> And Facebook conversations!
> 
> Perhaps I should have used MSN as the social outlet instead?
> 
> Oh please, I'm not that nostalgic/cruel/sentimental. Facebook is in, Facebook is hip. Facebook makes lovers out of friends.

Cosima is usually not one for hiding behind objects, furniture, people, general things to shield herself from the unknown. Cosima Niehaus, the girl with the dreads, the really chill, surprisingly very likeable, utterly charming geek monkey that is a title she rather vocally claims for herself embraces the weirdness of the world. Where Sarah Manning actively propagates against the status quo, Cosima mostly floats in equilibrium, letting whatever come to her when it does and trying everything once when it gives her the chance.

So, why then is it so difficult to look at the back of this French girl's head?

The teacher is right there. That's where she needs to focus.

The prof's going on about Shakespeare and shit, obsessing over the stars, the galaxy and other things. All very cool, especially how the Elizabethan folks were anal about the perfect alignment of the stars and all that. Whatever.

They must have had some truth in them now if Cosima felt the need to know where the hell this chick came from. Cosima would have looked up to the sky and asked for forgiveness to whatever and all gods that were out there for having laughed at Sarah for having to work with Rachel.

Those gods were probably smiling on, or laughing at Cosima today when she floated out of the classroom with her dreads swinging behind her and the tall French girl called out to her looking like an idiot until Cosima stopped abruptly and nearly made the girl crash into her.

The girl gasped lightly and blinked at Cosima before handing her a pen in the short space they shared together.

“Thank you very much for your pen. I went back to my locker after class to have one for English.”

What season was it? Why was Cosima's neck becoming so hot all of a sudden?

“It's no problem dude, really. Anything you need, I probably got it.” Cosima grinned widely, perhaps a bit more intensely as she fought to keep her internal temperature under control, knowing that it probably already had made its way to her cheeks.

“Actually, I must ask you something, if you don't mind...” She drifted off embarrassed, her voice hinting anxiety and mixed hopefulness. “Would you be able to help me with the English work?”

“Yeah, definitely!” Cosima felt that she replied too quickly, almost diverting her internal cringe altogether until she felt the heat encompass her entire face. She had to mask the feeling entirely before she melted on the spot. “Here, I'll give you my number.”

When Cosima took out a piece of paper and started scribbling onto it, she realized she wouldn't know what name to put with the girl's number once she had it. All she had was Felix and Sarah's terrible nicknames, none which would be appropriate to put in her phone contacts without feeling slightly ashamed of masking her ignorance of the girl's name.

Several voices made their way into the space, calling out for the girl who turned around, slightly surprised, and smiled out of her reverie towards her friends.

“Delphine, are you going to come with us after school?”

The girl called back to them, looking as though she was disappointed by something that had changed her mood so suddenly. “Of course! I will be with you guys soon. Just one moment!”

Before Cosima could stop herself, she blurted out her words. “Holy watershed, you're Delphine?”

The girl stared quizzically at Cosima now, really regarding her with a questioning look that bordered on asking if she was truly serious about the inquiry and being slightly amused and flattered. Before she could give a voice to her expression, her friends were calling out to her again.

“I am sorry Cosima, I really must go soon. I will text you when I get home, perhaps we can arrange a good time for you and I?”

“Yeah dude, most certainly. I'll see you around!”

And the whole ordeal couldn't have gone too terribly if Delphine decided to add Cosima on Facebook and message her in the same timeframe. Nothing could have gone any worse, in Cosima's eyes, than blatantly telling someone you were kind of friendly with that you were completely unaware of what their name was until somebody else pointed it out, and didn't actually get a proper introduction. Still, it was something, and still, Cosima felt her breath stop momentarily when she opened the message.

_Hello Cosima, thank you again for your pen. I would just like to quickly ask, what does this part of the poem mean?_

_“Lo, thus by day my limbs, by night my mind,  
For thee, and for myself, no quiet find.”_

_Does this mean they both share a forbidden love? I thought it was so, though the poet only mentions this person directly in the last line, so it cannot be this, right? I do not understand that this last part should be added where the rest of the poem talks of the poet's struggles and not of the other person's struggle. I hope to not interrupt you, and I would prefer to discuss with you tomorrow. Good night!_

Sonnet 27? Is that what they were doing in class today? Is that what the prof was obsessing about?

Weary with toil, I haste me to my bed,  
The dear repose for limbs with travail tired,  
But then beings a journey in my head  
To work my mind, when body's work's expired.  
For then my thoughts (from far, where I abide)  
Intend a zealous pilgrimage to thee,  
And keep my drooping eyelids open wide,  
Looking on darkness which the blind do see;  
Save that my soul's imaginary sight  
Presents thy shadow to my sightless view,  
Which like a jewel (hung in ghastly night)  
Makes black Night beauteous, and her old face new.  
Lo, thus, by day my limbs, by night my mind,  
For thee, and for myself, no quiet find.

 

_Hey Delphine, it's really nothing, don't worry about it, you can take all the pens you want._

_I feel like you have to read it together, not just in several parts. I mean, sometimes it helps a lot to break things down like that, I like doing that too and it helps a lot, but I feel like if Shakespeare wanted to write it in sections, he would. But he doesn't have to, and it's just one big picture. So to understand the last part, you have to get what's going on in everything else before it._

_I feel like even though Willy (the poet, technically, like you said), is super tired after a really long day, he still has time to think about his love. He's physically tired, but that doesn't mean his thoughts have stopped flying around. If anything, they're working harder. It's like the zealous pilgrimage is its own physical journey of moving until he finds his way to the object of his love, but also is like a metaphor in itself that it's not really an actual physical excursion to the person but is instead a journey of going through all the thoughts about that person._

_And it's like, a super religious experience too because there's so much spirituality involved in a pilgrimage, and for Will, it's not just about walking toward a holy place, it's about finding his holy place in their love, and everything about that person from the thoughts, to the feelings, to the thoughts about these feelings, to the feelings for these thoughts, and just everything is just about this person. It's like they're his own spiritual place, but they're also his god the way he obsesses about them so much._

_Well anyway, when he's keeping his drooping eyelids open wide, that's where I feel like he's losing his sense of consciousness and drifts off into sleep. I don't actually know what people with blindness could see when they're asleep, but I'm assuming it's just the same as someone with vision (I think it would be pretty cool to find out more about that topic actually) but seriously, whether he is actually dreaming or not doesn't really matter because he still sees his love in whatever state he's in and that's really the point he's trying to make._

_And I think it's kinda cool that he refers to this person's shadow, because it's like they're haunting him, or that he knows what their silhouette is and just calls it like that and I guess this just really makes an intimate statement about the love he feels whether he feels haunted by the shadow or comforted so much that he doesn't actually need to see the person because he knows who it is just from their outline._

_Anyway, regardless it makes him super comforted and talks more about how great this person is because their shadow, something that's super dark and otherwise scary for anything else makes the night beautiful and just makes her old face new... like, I don't know, maybe he's saying rather than being afraid of the dark or just not liking it, he's starting to like it because that's where he can see more of his love and it doesn't just stop at when they're apart._

_Whether or not it's forbidden love, I don't really know. That's what's so awesome about the last part for me. He just makes it full circle again by saying basically during the day it's his body that's getting him through the motions and by night, it's his mind that keeps him going and for him, he can't find peace (whether it's supposed to be a painful thing or not), and for the person too, they don't have much quiet time or peace because Willy's just constantly thinking about them at all hours of the day. So he's not really saying this in an actual physical sense, I think it's pretty spiritual for him. It's like how when you talk ill of the dead or something they turn in their grave, or however that saying or whatever goes. That's the quiet I guess he's referring to when he wrote that, and I feel like because of that, the poem is rather one-sided._

_But it doesn't totally mean the love is one-sided, it's just that this is his version of things and because of that it's one-sided. But I'd like to think it's not a bad thing that it seems one-sided and instead it's his half of their love that we're looking into and the other person's is just as awesome, and if not it has more awesome love stuff._

_Yeah I don't know, that's what I think anyway. We can talk about it tomorrow if I confused you. Sarah says I ramble too much but it's whatever, if I do, just let me know. See you tomorrow!_

Before she could think about it again, Cosima sent the message. She clicked dramatically and spun around in her chair away from the screen, her head leaning on the back and her hair swinging with her. When she turned back, she saw the little check mark that meant Delphine saw the message, one minute after being sent.

Okay, maybe her computer is open.

Fine, if it was open, somebody was typing, maybe it's somebody else in her house.

But why would that be a good thing? Cosima didn't want anybody to see this.

But, what did it matter anyway? It was just homework, it's not like there was anything bad in what she wrote.

And sure, Cosima may have been freaking out like she'd just sent a confession to the police, that she'd been acting as though she'd just ruin Beth's future career as an officer by ratting her and herself out for their recreational drug use and underage drinking, but that's not what happened. But that's most certainly what it feels like. Or that maybe her gay porn stash had been found (no, not that gay. The really gay one. Like the Felix gay one... an image that Cosima shouldn't have ventured into but did nonetheless), but it wasn't so.

When Delphine finally replied, all thoughts about Felix and his pillow talk (seriously, stop with these thoughts), and ruining Beth's life dissipated into the air.

_You have a lot to say, Cosima, but it is delightful to know your thoughts. You have very intelligent and very enlightening things to say; you shouldn't be so concerned. This really helped me, and your thoughts are beautiful. You are able to help me see a new point of view, and it is a wonderful thing to share. Thank you so much! (:_

So maybe the alignment of the stars was perfect tonight, maybe. It must have been kind of ironic that when Cosima eventually got ready for bed and just laid there in the darkness, all she could think about was Delphine. Perhaps there really was something in the stars after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what's up with this chapter?
> 
> Well, I say, if we were in the 80s, Cosima would be standing on a moving lawnmower equipped with a stereo and would have her fist in the air. But no, this is the 21st century and Facebook is the new, hip, romantic thing. Apparently.
> 
> If I wanted to be really accurate, Cosima and Delphine would have started talking because Cosima accidentally double tapped one of Delphine's Instagram photos at 3:30 in the morning. But whatever. I work with what I've got.


	9. Beth Childs: Young Gun, and Staircase Wit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SOCCERCOP! Except, not entirely soccer, not yet anyway. How do I incorporate soccer when Alison isn't a suburban mom?
> 
> Cosima and Beth conversations. Beth's troubles and demons.
> 
> Angst and confusion, l'espirit de l'escalier!
> 
> Actual divulging into serious matters, and only just the tip of the surface... whew, what a day!

Beth stood leaned up against the wall waiting for Cosima. Everyone was still waiting inside, given that lunch wasn't over just yet. Cosima eventually showed up five minutes after the bell rang for classes and skipped happily to their corner of the wall where the security cameras (functional or not, they still had to be cautious) couldn't see them. She seemed to not have realized that Beth was already there before she halted briefly before Beth.

“Whoa, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in the library?”

Beth smiled slightly at Cosima while she looked at her from the corner of her eye, keeping her sight fixed on the football field and track beside them. She took a flask from the inside of her jacket pocket and took a sip of whatever was in it before putting it away. She could feel Cosima's questioning eyes boring into her and couldn't look at her just yet. There was a hesitant pause in Cosima's thoughts before she spoke up again.

“Weren't you supposed to meet Alison?”

“Yeah, I'll get to that.”

Cosima stood silent again, probing Beth and sifting through her thoughts, no doubt going in different directions at 1000 kilometres a second. She shrugged and dropped her books to her feet, moving into the corner more as she took out a joint and lit it.

“I think you need a smoke, it'll at least get you less edgy. Let you breathe right and all.”

Beth scoffed, this time looking straight at Cosima.

“Of course, I should be smoking cigarettes to deteriorate my lungs and help me breathe properly.”

Cosima stared at her challengingly before Beth broke out into a smile and nudged Cosima, who instantly broke into a similar grin.

“Shut up, young gun. You're not a cop yet, you can still do awesome shit before you're bound to the law for good. I already told you it didn't have to be cigarettes, you just choose to obsess over them. Even then, it'll let you stay more of yourself than other things could.”

Beth caught the hint and smiled appreciatively at Cosima. With anyone else lecturing her as liberally as Cosima did, she would have given them an earful, and possibly some sort of injury. Cosima, however, always had her intentions in the right place and she could appreaciate this in the girl.

“I'm fine, Cosima. It's just nothing.”

“Well, I know Alison won't really appreciate having to talk to you alone all the time and you're inebriated.”

“I'll be alright. Damn, mom.” She laughed unaffectedly and sighed, reaching for the flask again and flinching in the middle of the motion when she realized what she was doing. She knew Cosima would have caught that too, the damn geek, she caught pretty much damn everything, and more.

“Come on, man. Alison deserves better than that, we both know it.” Cosima paused tactfully as she examined Beth's reaction, which there didn't seem to be any.

“Alison's been digging you before you got all the extra help.” She glanced pointedly at Beth's jacket where the flask would have been. “And she's like, the safest person to be around. She's like the mom or something. Well, that's kinda weird since you both got this weird thing going on. So no, not really the mom. But she is caring and weirdly mature and all that. Man, whatever, you know what I mean, I guess. You don't need to hide around her. She's got you.”

Beth narrowed her eyes at Cosima's words, still staring distantly in front of her. She spoke at a volume that almost seemed like it was meant for herself, but her thoughts slipped from her mouth and instead made themselves vocal. “It's not that I need it to hide. I need to say the things I need to say.”

Cosima took another hit, looking at Beth as if she wanted to embrace her. She continued staring and Beth finally gave in, chancing a glance at the girl.

Beth groaned when she caught Cosima's look.

“Quit looking at me like that, you're giving me the creeps.” She smirked and let the first signs of the drink come to her.

“You're going to need a lot more courage if you can't even handle me just looking at you. Alison's going to be on you, in like, more ways than one. Well, actually, I don't know what she'd do in public. Oh but that would be kinda funny to see. I think she could surprise me. Just don't let all that help get to your head so quickly.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry about me. I can handle myself, I've handled myself before.”

“Yeah, I know that. Everybody knows that. And Alison knows it better than anyone. So why should she be the only one you have to do this for?”

“Because she's the one who matters the most, geek monkey.”

Cosima smiled liberally as she stole another glance at Beth, grinning like a giddy idiot she was bound to be and Beth almost regretted her choice of words.

“Okay then, take all that damn courage if it makes you all sappy like this. But there really is so much Alison can take before it starts becoming a lie, my friend.”

“It's not a lie if the sap's always been there.”

“It is if you won't let it come to you naturally.”

“I'm trying you know.”

“I know that, and I'm happy for you. I'm rooting for you dude. And that's why I'm warning you too. If I didn't give a shit about you, I wouldn't be telling you to lay off the bottle, especially when someone else is right in the picture.”

Beth turned to face Cosima and stared at her before letting her hands fall awkwardly at her sides, a gesture she knew that would let Cosima get the hint.

“Awwww, come here buddy!” Cosima crashed into Beth and hugged her sloppily, holding as tightly as she could with a cigarette in her hand. Beth broke into a smirk and patted the girl's back, waiting for her to break out of the embrace.

“I don't want your secondhand smoke, dork.”

“Hand me the bottle then, friend.”

“What?”

“You heard. Unless it's Friday and we're day drinking for another super awesome Manning party, and we're not on school grounds, then you're getting cut off.” Cosima didn't break her gaze when she let her hand out, palm open for Beth's flask.

“I know you won't have any more, but I do also know that feeling it there with you is part of it too. You can't be yourself totally if you need to know it's there. Trust yourself a bit, you're your worst critic.”

Beth tossed her the flask in one swift motion and almost doubted that Cosima would catch it, but she moved to catch it in her chest and put it away quickly. In another swift movement, Beth turned and walked towards the doors. When she looked back, Cosima was still grinning stupidly as she took more drags of her joint.

“Smartass hypocrite,” Beth shot under her breath. She moved through the relatively empty halls and made her way to the library, knowing instinctively where Alison would be. She stood before the closed doors, breathing deeply before she walked through.

Alison was sitting at the farthest table in the middle rows, not wanting to be entirely enclosed but not wanting to be interrupted either, unless it was necessary. Of course, wherever Beth was concerned, it was never a disruption. She was engrossed by all her work as several stacks of books and binders surrounded her. Beth took a seat and leaned back in the chair.

“Hello, Beth.”

“Hey Alice.”

Alison looked up from her notes and glared at Beth who already wore that cocky look of victory, happiness, and smugness all at once. Alison's look softened drastically as she returned to her notes, not lingering for too long on Beth's face.

“You just have to insist on calling me that, don't you.”

“It's the only way you'll look at me.”

Alison stopped entirely and stared at her page, and Beth bit her lip. If she wasn't so taken back by her own words, maybe she would have noticed Alison blushing.

She continued hastily, perhaps looking to remedy the damage. “From your notes, obviously. You're so into them all the time. I don't even know why I'm here anyway if I'm just going to be distracting you.”

Alison straightened up instantly, looking directly at Beth in a way that wasn't stern, but was still forceful in its own way.

“You're not distracting me. I actually work better with you here.” As if remembering the colour that possibly couldn't have escaped her face entirely, she touched her cheek and blinked multiple times at Beth before returning to her notes. Beth could see that her breaths were fragmented and could see the remnants of a receding blush only because Alison's hair was pulled up behind her headband.

Beth only looked at Alison and slowly broke into a grin, laughing softly under her breath. Alison's eyes were still peeled to her page but she most certainly wasn't paying any mind to them.

“Of course, if you're bored, you could hang out with Cosima. I don't want to be the reason someone's being kept waiting.”

“No, she's alright. I like it here.”

Alison painstakingly tried, oh did she try, to regroup her focus onto her notes. Eventually, the pretending led way to actually succeeding and she and Beth sat in contented silence. They continued the ritual before Alison spoke up.

“Beth, I'm sorry. Could you just hold my page for a second? I need to look at another book and I don't want to fold the corners of the page, and I'm using all my highlighters and I can't mark-”

“Got it.” Beth shot up and moved her chair closer to Alison, almost sitting directly beside her and was waiting for more instruction.

“I don't want to highlight the page, since this is just a borrowed textbook. Can you just mark this paragraph for me so I don't lose it?”

“Yeah, definitely.” Beth leaned in closer to look at the words and did as Alison asked. Alison, in turn, seemed to have inhaled sharply before she scrambled to find the book she was looking for. It was moments before she found the section she was referencing and moved to face the other book, almost colliding into Beth's head and forgetting how close the girl was to her.

“Oh! Thank you, Beth.” She inhaled deeply again, her face awfully close to Beth's.

“No problem.”

Before she could move away, Alison placed a hand on Beth's arm and held it lightly. It gave Beth the impression that she was being pinned to the table, but it was quite the contrary. Alison held her hand on her arm, but there was no force in the action. It was quite strange how it made Beth feel force that wasn't there.

“Are you alright, Beth?”

“Yeah, why?”

Alison looked sadly at Beth before she smiled unconvincingly as she returned to her work. Beth wasn't really one to pry, and blinked questioningly, not retreating back into her old spot as she examined Alison again.

“It's just, I know you've been drinking.”

Beth instinctively stiffened, the only movement she made that indicated that she was listening intently now, though she still didn't say anything.

“And you have been for a while. You've been fine with the others,” Alison paused, showing no other hint of emotion other than what could have been hurt, but the pause itself was the only indication of pain, and this stirred Beth's confusion further. “I've mostly noticed it when you come to the library with me.”

Beth had nothing to say, wanting to argue and convince Alison of something, of anything, other than what she was suggesting. She sat dumbfounded and Alison chanced another look at her, reading the silence on her face as defensiveness before she looked down at her page again, not registering the content.

“So, how are you with your schoolwork?”

Beth wanted nothing more than to remedy the situation, to reverse the hurt that was not showing on Alison's face but was most definitely there. She could do this by redirecting the conversation as Alison had.

“It's fine, still a bit iffy on some stuff though.”

“Would you like me to help you tonight?”

“Yeah, that would be great, if you don't mind.”

“Not at all, you know I don't. I'll skype you later in the evening. Just inform me of when you're available.”

By then, Alison had long ago let go of her arm. Beth didn't realize it, but she was still leaning forward on the table and felt Alison's hand still there. She felt its warmth, almost the burn of it on her arm, as if Alison's imprint would be there, before she felt the inevitable cold that would follow at the emptiness where her touch once was.

“Thanks a lot, Ali. I know how much work you've got.”

“It's really nothing.” She smiled up at Beth, looking as if she was trying to convince herself more than she was trying to convince Beth of something that only she would ever know of, and this made Beth want to know everything Alison held back.

Still, she let go of it, not knowing how to deal with it and not wanting to deal with it now, especially since she was here with Alison. Perhaps later, she would try to cipher the nuances and unspoken words, but that was for another time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, what the hell happened here?
> 
> I was totally stoked for soccercop, and my first ever shot at them is angsty and confused. SIGH. Why did I choose to write about teenagers.
> 
> I didn't realize how hard it was to write Beth, but the more I tried writing about her, the more daunting it was to colour her character. It's crazy how we want to know someone we hardly ever knew and will never get to know... I guess that's the wonder of fan fiction. And I guess I made it harder for myself by not making them clones, and not making them the age they're at in the show. I'll see where it takes me!
> 
> I sincerely hope I can do Beth justice though, in my own interpretation of her. There's just so many opinions and theories surrounding her and I just couldn't find one that sits with me but also makes this story work... even though I don't know where any of it's going anyway. Oh well!
> 
> I'm liking how I made this "project" completely open, and how it's just like one big story with other little sub-stories in it. This is what happens when I want to write about all the ships. I hope y'all like it too. I have an entirely free weekend, so expect more very soon. Cheers!


	10. Sarah Manning and the Time She Technically Won

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh, more smut!? Wasn't the last time enough? What the hell even!
> 
> Rachel and Sarah power struggle. IN THE OFFICE. Desks, doors, and anything but kissing galore! Oh my!
> 
> What happens in Dunkin Donuts...

“Oh hello! What's that on your neck there?”

“It's nothing, ya knob.”

“I think... I think it's... a _collar_.”

Sarah put about as much force into her punch that she threw into Felix's gut as anyone else would, if they were physically defending themselves from actual harm. All Sarah was doing was giving Felix an earful, without actually saying anything, and he took the punch almost gracefully.

“Woof woof indeed! What the hell happened anyway?”

“Oi! Don't think for a second that I'll be telling you any details, ya filthy manchild. Go wank off somewhere else.”

Sarah had successfully diverted all attention specifically away from her neck when she got home from Rachel's house. She knew she couldn't hide from Felix for long, and she was proven correct about 6 hours after the start of the school day as the siblings walked to work together.

“I'm just saying, you should probably watch out. If she really is into that power stuff, it'll be a lot harder to hide the BDSM chain and belt marks, you know.”

“Piss off, Fee.”

“I won't say anything! You know I won't, obviously. But that's only limited to bringing it up. Once they start commenting on it, there's nothing to stop me from saying anything else.”

“There's nothing to stop you from anything anyway.”

Luckily for Sarah, it was just the two of them working today, not including Rachel, who was certainly going to be at her office. Sarah had so many thoughts in mind. Rachel hadn't texted her since then, and she had a few ideas in mind to start another fire.

“Hello. Felix, can you help the delivery drivers with unloading the merchandise?”

Felix gave the manager a questioning look, still not daring to challenge her, and dramatically turned away toward the entrance when he caught a glance at the delivery personnel. Not wanting to give Rachel any more satisfaction than her already smug look was showing, he spun around and marched outside, shooting Sarah a knowing glare before brisking off.

“Come into my office, Sarah.”

When Rachel held the door open for her, Sarah could feel the blood rushing through her veins, adrenaline pumping like a coursing shot of new life. It didn't help that Rachel was dressed unusually casual, wearing a lacey white blouse and tight-fitting black jeans. For all she cared, Sarah could have been jumping in her spot. For all that was about to happen, she should have been fearful for her life, but before Rachel let go of her hold on the doorknob and before Sarah could begin to doubt what she was about to do, her hand was around Rachel's neck and she was pinning her against the door.

Rachel merely blinked and let her eyebrows rise across her forehead, the only hint shown on her face of what should have been shock or some sort of recovery having been slightly winded by the abrupt action, but nothing else was there.

Sarah wasn't even angry, she was far too hyped to be angry. She could have been more amused than angry at this moment, and she was bordering on some kind of twisted sense of happiness that was enough to be considered amusement.

“You didn't text me back.”

“I never said I would text you.”

Sarah couldn't help but smirk, trying halfheartedly to maintain her composure but breaking out into as close to a genuine smile that would appear on her face as it would in Rachel Duncan's presence. Rachel stared unimpressed at Sarah as if she was waiting for Sarah to be done with her spectacle.

“So how long am I supposed to wait, anyway?”

“What are you, a teenaged boy?”

Sarah laughed, not realizing she'd strengthened her grip on Rachel's neck, not realizing that Rachel was breathing in fragmented starts and stops, and that it wasn't because of the severance of her air capacity. Without realizing any of this, Sarah stepped another foot across the line, almost breathing into Rachel's mouth.

“Please, I can do so much better.”

It should have given Rachel any warning for what Sarah was about to do, but it didn't. She shouldn't have felt the need to claw at Sarah's everything and scratch her all over, but she did. When Sarah snaked her hand across Rachel's stomach, not even sneaking underneath the shirt and instead opting for toying with the fabric, that too should have been any indication. All Rachel did was stand with Sarah grasping onto her neck, and letting only her hand and the door that was behind her support her before she buckled underneath.

“You most certainly remind me of Paul.” She knew this would get a rise out of Sarah, and she was answered by a tighter hold on her neck. She should have been more reserved, she should have been less involved, but nothing stopped her languid sarcasm from seething from her mouth.

“Jealous Sarah, are you anxious? Do you think you're inadequate? Did you squirm after you realized I must have called Paul to my apartment right after you were there?”

Sarah vaguely heard the words, but she felt slightly moved by them. Not hurt, or angry, just moved. She knew she should have reacted to them, but she didn't know how to react. She didn't know what Rachel expected, so all she did was dig her face into Rachel's neck. The only hint of any answer was Rachel's subtle gasp, but she was still talking as Sarah faintly registered the rest of her jests. Still, Rachel was relentless, even when she was being unravelled so easily.

“Are you angry and hurt that you're not the only one? Do you feel betrayed, Sarah?”

Sarah's free hand was still moving around Rachel's front, grazing her thighs and more of her stomach before she settled on putting her hand into Rachel's back pocket, squeezing with her nails and her hand. Rachel couldn't have let herself hold onto Sarah, though she almost instinctively reached for her.

_This is nothing like Paul._

For all that Sarah was doing, it seemed to have been enough to unsettle Rachel almost entirely, and neither of them were unclothed.

_This is better than Paul._

“You're not special, Sarah. You're just like anyone else.”

Sarah finally sneaked her hand under Rachel's shirt, but Rachel would not let Sarah hear her moan. She wouldn't let Sarah have the satisfaction of approving of her rough, yet warm hands on her chest. She let nothing else happen, seeing as though she already let this all happen to begin with anyway, when Sarah's gruff voice spoke into her ear.

“Are you gonna shut up any time soon?”

It was as if she knew pushing herself into Rachel would have shut her up, because she did exactly that and Rachel did refrain from speaking. Whether or not it was because of the inability, or the mere refusal, she wouldn't let Sarah have that knowledge. Her hands were still flat on the door, refusing to touch Sarah, but Sarah's hands were already off her neck, toying at the belt loops of her pants. They were pulling rather forcefully, and if Rachel wasn't already in her mood, she would have slapped Sarah away, not wanting to pay more money for useless articles such as jeans.

But the last thing she cared about was her jeans, and ironically, they were her last line of defence. She would not let them go. Sarah was pulling at the waistline, not exactly struggling to take them off; she was just pulling them.

Rachel had never felt so disgustingly torn in her life. She always had her way with Paul. She always knew what to do to get men kneeling for her. She felt the victorious conquest getting to her head every time, but nothing reached her core. She'd never felt wanting in her life. Nothing came close to the moment she realized the pulse between her legs was because of this husky, brutish girl who greeted her with her hand around her neck, and that she wanted nothing more than to have any sort of release from that feeling, perhaps even at the hands of said girl.

Rachel finally rose her hands, moving to hit Sarah away, but had enough energy only for her hands to forcefully make contact with Sarah, and then stayed in place after. The touch felt almost natural, nothing like the forced movements she'd gone through just to get Paul off. She kept her hands where they were, and this only encouraged Sarah more, who was now biting into Rachel's shoulder.

Rachel smashed her head back, breathing huskily as she felt Sarah's teeth cracking into her skin. Her hands dug into Sarah's shoulders, almost like a plea to keep her there, but it would never be a plea for Rachel Duncan.

“You'll never fuck like a man.”

“Yeah well, I don't want to.”

Sarah's lips made contact with Rachel's pulse point and took advantage of Rachel's momentary vulnerability as she felt the girl melt under her. She half carried the girl against the door as she wrapped her hand around her waist, the other snaking into her pants. Rachel groaned at the touch, never having felt a hand there before. Surely she had known what it was like to have a man, and she knew that out of anyone else from her very limited past of lovers, Paul was as adequate as one could get. She never realized that she'd never felt his hand there until it was Sarah's that was in their place, and she growled in rage.

She had no time to dwell in her anger when she felt Sarah's fingers toy with the fabric, most definitely wet and soiled. She would have kicked Sarah between the legs, knowing it would have made at least a similar effect on her as it would on any man, but she didn't. She was being held by Sarah, who seemed to be acting in a way that reeked of possession.

Paul had never held her like that, only doing the bare minimum as Rachel had, going through the motions to get to the end point. She had never felt so toyed with, so naked under anyone's touch, gaze, prying questions, or anything. Sarah Manning destroyed every thought and inclination she had, every inclination she thought was sound and justified. Still, Sarah's hands were rubbing at the fabric, never actually making their way through, and Rachel wanted to kill her.

She'd thought, perhaps, there was a reason for all this. Paul had never felt the need to fight so vehemently as Sarah had. Paul was always objective and plain. Rachel thought she liked this simplicity. Rachel thought it was enough that Paul's dull bedroom nuances were enough for both of them, having thought that it would suffice to make her feel something.

She was absolutely wrong. Where Paul had her and made petty, predictable noises, no doubt recycled and devoid of anything other than the boring sentiment of the moment, Sarah merely sweat with pure energy. Sarah was raw and brutal. She was oftentimes too emotional and it was sometimes too easy to toy with her because of it. What made her complicated to Rachel was how irresistible she was when she was indulging in one of or a plethora of her emotions. Rachel craved Sarah's need for power. Rachel let Sarah feel that possession because it made Rachel come alive.

Paul was a boy, he was an alley cat that was unaffected by the darkness, and would be easily swatted away if one kicked at him. Sarah was a stray animal, but she revelled in the darkness. If one kicked at her, she would fight back. Rachel never knew how much she appreciated clawing and arguing and scratching until she realized how atrociously simple Paul was, or any other partner for that matter. She had wasted so much time, so much unwarranted energy, and here she was completely clothed, but otherwise soiled and destroyed at Sarah Manning's touch, and she was brimming with unadulterated passion.

Today, she would let herself give in to the moment. She would examine what Sarah Manning was about, and what Sarah Manning would do if she got complete control of a moment. She let her hands sift through Sarah's curly locks of hair, and she tugged at them slightly as Sarah kept where she was, moving all over Rachel's neck.

If Sarah came up and looked at her, she would not dare kiss her mouth. When Sarah did look up, Rachel refused to look at her lips, instead staring right into Sarah's heavily darkened eyes. She was breathing as easily as anything else, as if completely disregarding the fact that she had been almost carrying Rachel. There was only a brief moment of pause before Sarah pulled at Rachel's waistline and dragged themselves in the direction of Rachel's desk and pushed all the items from the surface.

Rachel was almost thankful that Sarah seemed to refuse to kiss her, not wanting to compare the moment to Paul's empty, expected actions. She instead continued to work on the rest of Rachel's body, letting her hands ravage whatever they could find.

There was a lot that Rachel allowed to happen in that moment, but laying down for Sarah Manning wasn't one of them, and neither was kissing her. She would not let her do anything that resembled what Paul would have done. Instead, she leaned against her desk, allowing Sarah to kiss, bite, alternate in between wherever place her mouth seemed to stop, and she kept her hands in the girl's messy mane.

When Sarah ended up at her stomach, licking at an exposed spot that her lifted shirt uncovered, Rachel audibly groaned. She made her way back up languidly and tortuously as ever, leaning up against Rachel and spoke roughly into her ear.

“I don't need to fuck like a man to get you wet. I apparently don't need to fuck you at all.”

Rachel breathed sharply as she realized immediately what Sarah was doing. She lingered on Rachel for another moment before she stood back, fixing herself before looking at Rachel who was still leaning back against the desk.

“My regards to Paul. I hope he's still doing well, and will continue to do so after today.”

In one movement, Sarah was walking away from her and closed the door behind her, leaving Rachel dishevelled and unbearably speechless. Sure, she had been satisfied with what Sarah had done. She surprised even herself and would almost be impressed with Sarah if she didn't feel so unsettled and lacking in the relief she was seeking.

There was something entirely different about Sarah Manning and she was ready to kill to figure out what it was, even if it did leave her internally disturbed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's enough from me for today, this was kinda fun to write about. Nothing better than shameless, confusing, nothing but angst smut things to get us through the day. Yay!
> 
> Until next time folks, take care y'all.


	11. Rachel Duncan is Actually an Awkward Teenager

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helena wants to have coffee for the first time, and her ipod selections are very questionable. Sarah, Beth, and Felix gossip and act like the teenagers they are and talk like good old pals. Rachel is a little dork and thinks everyone is talking about her and this can really lead to some issues... like, major issues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really sarcastic, I just couldn't think about anything to be honest so I just went with the good old satire

Sarah walked from the office with an air of smugness that could have rivalled Rachel Duncan, but didn't rival Rachel Duncan either. Sarah marched out of the office with a whole new element of triumph.

“Thank the merciful housewives of suburbia, _you're finally here_.”

“Missed me?”

“Helena's been whistling to Wagon Wheel deciding what to get. If you've lost your sense of time, and lost track of all your senses in there, it's actually been _quite a long while_. Do tell her to pick something, I can't just stand around when there's extravagant looking Greek gods out there.”

“Hello, Sarah.”

“Hey, have you been annoying Felix with your songs?”

Helena looked up at Sarah from the hood of her oversized parka, a ridiculous article of clothing any other time of the year, but it was reaching that point in the month where the mornings were cold and midday was reminiscent of summer. Sarah didn't know if seasonal attire was beyond Helena's scope of weather adaptation or if she was simply lazy. Laziness was a Manning trait no one would have denied- not even Sarah would easily deny it.

“I want food, and I want coffee.”

“You've never had coffee, meathead.”

“I want coffee, Sarah. I am running from the cold up in New England.”

“Wha'?”

Helena was fiddling with the old ipod Sarah had given her, loaded with music that was unfathomable as to how she managed to know them. The last phase was for Shakira, apparently, and Cosima was the one who was honoured with witnessing Helena singing along to the Colombian's music in her thick Ukranian accent. Nobody was brave enough to recall Helena's hardcore music phase, having shown a completely different temperament compared to what Mrs S or even Sarah would have had. There were interesting characters that Helena associated with during this time, and they were gone now, luckily, replaced by banjos and Helena's inevitable lifestyle change to back roads and empty beer bottles.

“I was born to be a fiddler in an old time string band, yes?”

“Oh.... is that what this is?”

“Today is definitely not the day she tries coffee for the first time.”

Felix stared at Helena with a softened look of amusement on his face, almost as if pondering the genetic identity the girls shared, one with an oversized parka referencing country lyrics and the other girl who always stood like she was ready to kill a man or run up a wall. Amazing.

“Okay...” Sarah ventured, “Well, how about I'll pick for you and you can rock on like a wheel so Felix can help those loaders. Or else Rachel will get pissed, yeah?”

“It is not a wheel, it is a wagon wheel, sestra.”

“Right, well, go get her something sweet then. And like a shot-glass portion of coffee.”

“Okay, so you're going to tell me what's got you in such a bloody peachy mood then.”

“Maybe later.”

“Wow, what the hell did she do to you in there?”

“Nothing! Why?”

“Well, one, you haven't cursed at me yet. And two, you're actually going to talk to me later? Maybe? And three, you're enabling your sister's eating habits... or rather, the lack thereof. What drugs have you two been shooting up in there?”

“She's fine, we got a _connection_.”

“No kidding, you share a penchant for being crazy twits. It's your fault really. If you hadn't taken her to karaoke and got yourself piss drunk she wouldn't have watched you completely butchering the Old Show Medicine Crow blokes or poor old Darius Rucker. I don't want to see her drunk, on caffeine, or on drugs, and I don't want to live the day she is any one of those, and moreover when she's any one of those in _your_ presence.”

“Eh, at least she's a better singer than I am.”

“And the pair of you share an atrocious taste in music. Is that a twin thing?”

Helena was behind the counter taking food into her pockets when Felix felt her brushing up against him.

“Oi! Someone better pay for that.”

“I told you, I got it.”

“Wanna pay for me, cockney punk?” Beth walked through the open door, her grin growing into an amicable smile when she eyed Helena.

“I don't think so, Childs. Move along.”

“Hey! I'm a potential customer, you can't turn me away.”

“Not when you're hassling employees for food.”

“Not when they're supposed to be my _friends_.” Beth's eyes widened in scandalized horror, feigning her offence as she dolled dramatically on the word.

Helena shoved a doughnut below Beth's nose and stared inquisitively at her. Beth's smile broke into laughter, considering for a moment and taking Helena's offer.

“Thanks a lot, Helena. You, I like. You've always been the better twin.”

Helena smiled wondrously at Beth, chewing on whatever food she'd stuffed in her mouth this time. Sarah caught the look, keeping the amusement to herself to save herself from the earful Beth could have given her if she saw.

“You're not doing the cop stereotype any real favours with your fancy for doughnuts.”

“Lucky you, and for all of you really, I'm not a cop yet.”

“If we invite you to parties, would you bust them or would you just be more of an anal prick than you usually are?” Felix challenged Beth as he tilted his head and pursed his lips dangerously, the shadow of a smirk forming on his lips.

“ _I'll_ put something in your drink, so you can stop making dumbass remarks like that.”

“Always so rude.”

“I mean, I'd never rat Cosima out. That's like adopting a puppy and kicking it out on a rainy day. You guys, I don't know so much. Maybe I would if one of you finally murdered someone and did weird shit to the body.”

“Not even for a lovely six-figure paycheck?”

“That's aiming high, nobody gets paid nearly enough for anything, let alone for that.”

“So moral and just, you are. Here, have a doughnut!”

“You're a little prick, Felix. Where is she anyway?”

“She's probably hanging out with her lady croissant.”

“Is that a weird euphemism?”

“No, she's really probably with the Frenchie.”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Rachel had her back up against her door, contemplating the office and the very different air that occupied the tiny space. She'd thought she hated this room too, but this wasn't her house. Her living quarters were much more of a blow than the office could ever be, and she'd soon accept that. Still, Sarah had more or less demolished in her both places, never expecting so, and Rachel was feeling exceptionally disgusted by it all. She could not longer muse over her recent shortcomings any further, and decided to tune out her thoughts and really revel in silence.

“That's a rather strange combination really.”

“Can you imagine her having her way with the lady over a school desk or something?”

“Why would you want to imagine that, weirdo.”

“I'm just saying, it's bound to happen one of these days. Have you _seen_ the way she ogles her?”

Strange, to think that these... people, would gossip so audaciously, in so close a proximity to Rachel as they were doing just now. She would have interrupted them sooner if she wasn't so agitated and displaced.

She didn't know when her feet decided to move, but now she was staring wistfully at her office window, contemplating everything under the sun. She pondered Sarah Manning's atrocious presence in her existence, the inexplicable tragedy of Sarah Manning's atrocious presence in her existence, and the irrevocable fact that Sarah Manning had her in her grasp. She heard these voices coming from the door, but she did not listen to them. _Not now_ , she thought to herself, _I am deliberating my life._

She heard their goofy voices, their ridiculous grins smiling behind every word. _Stupid, stupid, stupid_. She would terminate their positions if she could, but that's not how she would play this game. Rachel Duncan does not settle for easy, Rachel Duncan does not back out. She believed she would have to do something much more extraordinary to Sarah Manning, _but what possibly could that be?_ She would think of it eventually, but for now, it is a matter of when. When will she make her move? When will she put her plan in motion?

When Sarah Manning stormed through her office and crashed into her life like a hurricane, there was nothing that could help Rachel Duncan. When Sarah Manning ran precariously, headfirst into Rachel Duncan's wake, Rachel thought she could burn the girl, but that was not the case either.

_“That's a rather strange combination really.”_

Rachel Duncan thought that perhaps, in her overzealous use of nature cliches to describe Sarah Manning, there was not much needing to be explained. Sarah Manning was a tsunami, rushing in tall and encompassing everything in its wake. Still, one could save themselves, there are ways to do that. One could swim against the current, one could swim against the waves, one could still come up to the surface. One could be filled with that water in their lungs. One could spit it back up.

And no, there was no implication in calling Sarah Manning a tsunami. It had nothing to do with puns and anecdotes of how "wet" Sarah Manning got Rachel Duncan, _that was not it at all, absolutely not!_ Perhaps there are better ways to describe the situation. Perhaps Rachel Duncan would allocate a more better use of the word than the bloody word "tsunami." She got one part right, however. Sarah Manning was some kind of natural disaster. Sarah Manning was a storm, and storms were named after people. Where Rachel Duncan was a calamity and had her name marked on a gravestone, she was put there because of Sarah Manning. Here lies Rachel Duncan, a victim of Hurricane Sarah.

_“Can you imagine her having her way with the lady over a school desk or something?”_

Rachel Duncan would learn how to swim, she would learn how to cope. There is one thing she would not do. She would not surrender. She would not run and retreat into her hideaway. Rachel Duncan is calm, she is cool, and she would step out into her office and look at all the fools she micromanages. She will not call Sarah Manning back into her office, Rachel Duncan will do the extreme. Rachel Duncan does not do drastic, she does the necessary. Right now, their comments were challenging her, and there was nothing that she ever enjoyed more than rising to the challenge. Rachel Duncan will involve the world, and this is where she will begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I am garbage and I haven't figured out a good way to end last chapter's wild events, so I've been stuck on this filler for months... I am so sorry.
> 
> To be honest, I've had this chapter saved forever but I just haven't posted it because I am insecure trash and I suck... I FORGOT HOW FUN THIS WAS WOW
> 
> I hope this filler is enough for you folks, I'll try to get back on this wagon... heh, wagon (;


	12. Category: Teenage Cophine Socialization for $500

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> COPHINE!
> 
> In which Cosima and Delphine share music and talk about nothing on some instant messaging medium for hours. Life is amazing as a teenager, and shameless flirting is in abundance... Those little dorks!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOOK. AN INTERACTIVE CHAPTER.
> 
> I've always wanted to do something like this, CLICK ON THE LINK AND ACTUALLY IMMERSE YOURSELF LIKE THE CHARACTERS OMFG I LOVE TECHNOLOGY. It's some great shit, I feel like it's a new way of looking at things. Tis a lot more fun this way
> 
> I JUST REALLY FELT THE URGE TO WRITE COPHINE IDEK. And I think Cophine will definitely be my ship of choice for this kind of formatting, because really there is no better way to do the teenage fluff than to do social media conversations, I'M JUST SAYING.
> 
> Also I am a trash person so I really wanted to get something out and I feel like Cophine is an easy way to get back into it... YAS!

5:10 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : hey do you like chill music?

5:10 PM _delphine.cormier_ : yes I do, though I'm not sure what exactly chill music could consist of, but I believe I would like it if I heard it.

5:11 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : oh don't worry, me too. I finally looked up some really cool stuff that a few buddies from science have been talking about and it's pretty cool. It's awesome to look into new music.

5:12 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : check it out. <http://aydio.bandcamp.com/album/nonentity> This is Aydio. It might be my favourite album from him

5:12 PM _delphine.cormier_ : I will listen to it right now, thank you!

5:12 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : it's some awesome music to mellow out to... are you more into downtempo or post-rocky kinda stuff?

5:12 PM _delphine.cormier_ : I'm not so sure, what is the difference?

5:13 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : well, aydio is kind of more techno...

5:13 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : but not totally techno in the conventional sense. He's one guy, so he relies more on an electronic sound for his stuff, he can't exactly do all the instrumental stuff that post-rock bands can do.

5:14 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : here, these guys are considered post-rock [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qoc8MYyu_J0&list=PLF01C28731E96D050](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qoc8MYyu_J0&list=PLF01C28731E96D050)

5:14 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : my all time favourite album I think.

5:16 PM _delphine.cormier_ : this is some lovely music, Cosima. I've listened to a few songs from both of the links you sent me, and I love them already. I feel like I haven't heard such wonderful music in a while. I've listened to far too much classical music. I feel more in tune with the world after listening to this new music :)

5:17 PM _delphine.cormier_ : my good friend of mine back in France listened to a lot of music of “Guts”, I was not so sure of what exactly it was, I forgot it so long ago. But when I tried looking for it again, I found another artist. I feel that you may appreciate it. I will send it to you. Just give me a moment.

5:17 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : yeah sure!

5:18 PM _delphine.cormier_ : I found it! I hope you will like it, you have been sharing so much amazing music, and I want to give you something in return <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aY9fzAPRs0E>

5:18 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : oh, don't worry about it, if something is rad, it needs to be shared. Total love, nothing but good vibes, all of it needs to be shared.

5:18 PM _delphine.cormier_ : you have a beautiful mind, Cosima.

5:18 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : haha, thanks a lot. I think you have a really gorgeous mind too. It's not often I find someone who actually loves science as much as I do!

5:19 PM _delphine.cormier_ : there is a lot to appreciate in this world, I just wish I had more time to experience everything. So many things are out there that cannot be explained, and I want to discover them all. It makes me sad sometimes how short life is.

5:20 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : wow. Yeah, I don't know what to say. That's exactly how I feel most times. Some people don't really get it, and that's not a bad thing. It just gets kind of lonely sometimes.

5:22 PM _delphine.cormier_ : somehow, I am not so surprised. You seem like the kind of girl who has so much to share with the world. I am glad that you would take the time to share some of your wisdom with me

5:24 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : oh man...... are you kidding me? ME? Sharing my wisdom? You're way too cute, I appreciate your compliment though ;)

5:26 PM _delphine.cormier_ : one of these days, you will come to understand that I only speak the truth. You have a greatness in your mind, and you are very in tune with yourself, and that is something to be admired.

5:27 PM _delphine.cormier_ : Cosima, I wish to not stop this conversation, but I must go. Maman is calling me for dinner, I will talk to you as soon as I can.

5:27 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : yeah sure, no problem dude. I'll see ya soon!

 

6:44 PM _delphine.cormier_ : Hello, Cosima?

6:44 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : hey! Back so soon?

6:44 PM _delphine.cormier_ : it's not so soon, is it?

6:45 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : haha, don't worry, I'm just bugging you. I wouldn't be complaining anyway. I like talking to you.

6:45 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : I found some more cool things for you, in case you wanted more. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gXrS6eKfjk> This might actually be my all time favourite...

6:46 PM _delphine.cormier_ : you like so many things, is there nothing in this world you don't love?

6:46 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : well, I don't like injustice, or not being able to do enough when I know I can, or rancid smells.

6:47 PM _delphine.cormier_ : Hahaha!

6:47 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : what? It's true! I speak honestly too

6:47 PM _delphine.cormier_ : I never said you didn't!

6:48 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : you act like I'm joking

6:48 PM _delphine.cormier_ : not at all, I take your word.

6:48 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : oh really? Somehow, I doubt that.

6:49 PM _delphine.cormier_ : Fine. If you insist on being so cheeky, test me.

6:49 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : Fine! Maybe I will!

6:50 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : do you believe that I feel bad for not realizing who you were, or that you were even in our class?

6:50 PM _delphine.cormier_ : I do believe that

6:50 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : wait, really? That wasn't difficult at all...

6:50 PM _delphine.cormier_ : that's because I'm waiting for something else. You have to make it up to me for not knowing who I am.

6:51 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : Hey, now I know who you are!

6:51 PM **geekmonkey niehaus** : it's not my fault you appear out of nowhere

6:52 PM _delphine.cormier_ : I didn't appear out of nowhere, you just weren't looking

6:52 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : Well....... I don't know what to say to that. Maybe there are some of us who don't know what we're looking for until we see it.

6:52 PM _delphine.cormier_ : well, in any case: whatever it is you're looking for, I hope you find it.

6:52 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : Haha, funny. I appreciate your GENEROSITY. But really, how about this: do you believe that I want to make it up to you?

6:53 PM _delphine.cormier_ : I think I would like to believe that

6:53 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : wow, you think you'd like to? Haaaarrrssshhhh. Okay then, I'll prove you wrong. Let's hang out.

6:53 PM _delphine.cormier_ : Oh, you are quite the wooer. You will be doing what we normally do to prove me wrong?

6:54 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : Ye of little faith! And a cold heart... You really don't believe in my abilities?

6:54 PM _delphine.cormier_ : I cannot say for sure... I don't know what to believe. You are quite the big talker online, and when I see you in person, it seems as though you don't know how to use your words.

6:54 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : OUCH!

6:54 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : well... it's not my fault I'm born with some predisposed genetic flaw called foot in mouth disease that doesn't allow me to articulate coherent words in the presence of good looking folks.

6:55 PM _delphine.cormier_ : Now that is something I will not take your word for

6:55 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : wait, for what? You don't believe I have foot in mouth disease, or you don't believe that you're part of the good looking folks population?

6:56 PM _delphine.cormier_ : I believe you know what to say to get your way

6:56 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : oh man, you don't even know half of it ;) so what is it, are you going to let me make it up to you?

6:57 PM _delphine.cormier_ : I will let you do anything, it's you who apparently has the problem with dealing with “good looking people”, which I do not know how I should even be considered part of that group, but that's what you say.

6:58 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : maybe it's time you come out and say what this is really about... you think I'm a liar and you refuse to let me make it up to you because I'm a liar

6:59 PM _delphine.cormier_ : I think as much as you love sharing your words, you use too much of them at once. I never said I would refuse you, Cosima

6:59 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : then what are we waiting for?

6:59 PM _delphine.cormier_ : I am waiting for you, you are running yourself in circles

7:00 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : no I'm not! I'm trying to convince you

7:00 PM _delphine.cormier_ : you've been talking yourself dry this entire time, mon amie, when you don't need to be working so hard at all

7:01 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : well then, FINE! Will you let me make it up to you?

7:01 PM _delphine.cormier_ : yes, I will.

7:01 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : Okay then, good! That wasn't so hard, was it?

7:01 PM _delphine.cormier_ : No, it was not. You distract yourself so easily, it seems as though I am able to see now how you never realized until recently that I am in two of your classes... ;)

7:02 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : are you ever going to let that go?

7:02 PM _delphine.cormier_ : No, I will not.

7:02 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : Fine... I guess that's fair.

7:03 PM _delphine.cormier_ : so what are you going to do for me?

7:03 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : Aww, I won't ruin the surprise! You'll never know

7:03 PM _delphine.cormier_ : Okay, how about... when will this be taking place?

7:04 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : I'm not telling!

7:04 PM _delphine.cormier_ : Perhaps that is because you don't know yourself

7:04 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : I totally know what I'm doing! You really do have no faith in me... I understand

7:05 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : I'm sad now :(

7:05 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : look what you've done :'(

7:05 PM _delphine.cormier_ : I have faith in you, I also know how much you like to boast

7:06 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** *heartbroken*

7:06 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : maybe I'm not telling you what I'm going to do or when I'm going to do it because it's that great of a plan

7:06 PM _delphine.cormier_ : It is so great of a plan, you don't even know what it is yet?

7:07 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : great ideas take time!

7:07 PM _delphine.cormier_ : So you admit it, you are saying you need time to think about it? Haha!

7:07 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : wow, you think you've got me huh? MAYBE it does take time. Maybe that's why making it up to you isn't a one time thing, maybe I need a long time to do the job

7:07 PM _delphine.cormier_ : So dedicated... even I didn't suggest that

7:07 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : like I said, if there's one thing I don't like in the world, it's not doing enough when I know I can. I'm not half-assing this ;)

7:08 PM _delphine.cormier_ : I am glad I'm worthy of you not wanting to half-ass

7:08 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : don't worry, I got you. I'm great, I've got grand things in plan for us

7:09 PM _delphine.cormier_ : you are such a big talker, I wouldn't be able to believe it myself from what I've seen of you from glimpses in the hallway!

7:10 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : hey, I love talking. Talking is a good thing. I especially love talking to you

7:10 PM _delphine.cormier_ : you love talking to the good looking people demographic

7:10 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : yes, I do love talking to my equals.

7:11 PM _delphine.cormier_ : Oh, so humble!

7:11 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : You know me so well already!

7:12 PM _delphine.cormier_ : well, I do like talking to you too

 

9:20 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : Maaaaannn, I just powered through one of these assignments. I think I actually have a headache now.

9:20 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : omg, I hope I didn't wake you up

9:21 PM _delphine.cormier_ : don't worry, I am still awake

9:21 PM **geekmonkeyniehau** s: hah, that's surprising!

9:21 PM _delphine.cormier_ : why is it surprising?

9:22 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : I don't know, you look like the type who takes every advantage of beauty sleep

9:22 PM _delphine.cormier_ : Hahaha, so funny, Cosima.

9:22 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : dude, seriously, have you not seen yourself?

9:23 PM _delphine.cormier_ : I do, everyday, I don't see what is the big deal

9:23 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : well, that's because you don't see through my eyes

9:23 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : I mean, not like I'd want you to. I've got terrible vision. I remember one time Sarah tried using my glasses once just to screw around and it actually gave her a headache after she'd worn them for only a minute.

9:24 PM _delphine.cormier_ : maybe one day, I'll be able to see the world through your eyes. You seem to see goodness in everything.

9:25 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : there's beauty everywhere in the world. There are so many little things that are worth living for. It's just a matter of which ones do we fight to keep around

9:26 PM _delphine.cormier_ : why do you think so?

9:27 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : well, I think we're all predisposed to goodness. We all have faith in goodness, it's just a matter of slowly becoming cynical of life from experiencing all the adversities we face through our journey.

9:27 PM _delphine.cormier_ : you think humans are born inherently good then?

9:28 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : Yeah, definitely. I mean, I think more than being born inherently good, we were born with the inherent desire to protect something. We were meant to fight for things.

9:28 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : I'd like to believe that what we choose to fight for is the good, but most of the time it's individual environment and how people interpret stimulus that they're exposed to that influences their motivations and what they stand for. We were born good, but there are things that happen to us that make us interpret and process certain things that happen to us that make us doubt what we think. But for the most part, I think we're capable of total peace

9:29 PM _delphine.cormier_ : is that how you rationalize the bad things happening in the world?

9:30 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : that's how I understand people. I don't try to rationalize the things they do that I don't entirely agree with because there's always going to be a bias there

9:32 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : I think all I can really do is to not rationalize what they do, but instead understand that they do it for a reason and remember that most of the time, this reason for doing certain things is beyond their realm of consciousness. I feel like whatever it is that people do that is out of the plane of what is morally acceptable is done because there was enough that happened to them that triggered something in them to switch. Even if they were aware of what they were doing, they either can't stop it or they can't explain it.

9:32 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : the most we can do is not encourage it, but to not make them feel so bad about it.

9:32 PM _delphine.cormier_ : are you saying you advocate evil-doings in the world?

9:33 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : No way! Just the devil's advocate here man. There are actually plenty of things, believe it or not, that I'm not okay with. Either on levels of public safety or individual autonomy, there are many things that I won't be okay with, but just because I don't agree with them doesn't mean I can't be compassionate.

9:34 PM _delphine.cormier_ : I think you are a very wonderful person, Cosima.

9:35 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : yeah, yeah. I know. You've told me plenty of times tonight ;)

9:35 PM _delphine.cormier_ : I am serious now! I cannot say it enough times, I wish you can understand it

9:36 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : You're serious NOW? You weren't serious before all this?!

9:36 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : Haha, I'm just teasing. Maybe you'll realize this soon enough

9:37 PM _delphine.cormier_ : don't worry, I am getting used to it quite easily now

9:37 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : That's always good!

9:37 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : but really, thank you. I really like talking to you. I haven't been able to really express actual intellectual thoughts in a while. It's all just educational drabble these days.

9:38 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : I mean, I totally love education drabble too, but it's just too much sometimes.

9:38 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : I just like having a break from it.

9:40 PM _delphine.cormier_ : I am glad that I can be your break from it then, I'm glad I can be involved with maintaining the well-being of that beautiful brain of yours, in any way that I am able to be.

9:41 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : rest assured, there is plenty that you've already done for me besides massaging my brain

9:41 PM _delphine.cormier_ : oh? And are you going to inform me of what exactly it is that I've done in the short amount of time we've known each other?

9:41 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : naaaaah, I'll let you know later

9:41 PM _delphine.cormier_ : still need time to think about it?

9:42 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : no, I need time to collect enough of the right words that can describe something as intangible as perfection

9:43 PM _delphine.cormier_ : you are way too cheeky. Go to sleep

9:44 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : Wow, you're dismissing me? So rude.

9:44 PM _delphine.cormier_ : I am not, I am merely suggesting. Perhaps sleep will help you with whatever impossible mission you're on this time

9:45 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : no, no. I see how it is. No need to explain yourself. I'll leave you alone!

9:47 PM _delphine.cormier_ : I hope you find your perfect words, Cosima

9:47 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : and I hope you have lovely dreams

9:47 PM _delphine.cormier_ : And for you as well. Take care!

9:48 PM **geekmonkeyniehaus** : have a good night Delphine.

9:50 PM _delphine.cormier_ : Have a good night as well, Cosima.

9:50 PM _delphine.cormier_ : and thank you for a lovely conversation. I'm glad we had the opportunity to talk today... it was a nice break

9:51 PM _delphine.cormier_ : see you soon xx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Formatting for this was such an ass omfg. I tried making this as easy on the eyes as possible... if y'all can offer any improvements or what not, let me know, because I got a major headache trying to remedy it and idk how okay it is visually


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